Divorce

The entire process of divorcing in New Jersey just became a whole lot more civil effective January, 2007 with the passage of the “irreconcilable differences” statute.

Through the end of 2006, in order to file for divorce in New Jersey people had to either live in different homes for 18 months or than file for divorce thereafter based upon the 18 months separation, or else they needed to allege actual “grounds” for divorce.

Those “grounds” could be adultery perhaps, but most people chose to file for divorce based upon an allegation of “extreme cruelty” committed by their spouses.

For 20 years this office has been advocating the position that New Jersey should devise a cause of action for divorce based upon “irreconcilable differences.”  This is because in our experience when people file for divorce based upon extreme cruelty or adultery or other grounds the people are putting themselves in a position where they start the divorce process “off on the wrong foot.”

At the time to when someone decides to file for divorce, most cases would benefit from, sensitive, careful negotiations to start bringing the marriage to an end.

However, by filing for divorce based upon actions that one spouse claims the other spouse did to him or her that caused the filing spouse to be able to file based upon “extreme cruelty,” the non-filing spouse is immediately put in a defensive position and feels, more often than not, attacked. This then causes the non-filing spouse to often file a counterclaim, also based upon “extreme cruelty”, at which time the defendant alleges the extreme cruelty that he or she feels his or her spouse committed against him.

Meanwhile, these people are expected to continue functioning as housemates very often and even more often as parents to children.

The “irreconcilable differences” statute puts an end to all of that for those people who wish to get divorced based upon irreconcilable differences, and simply requires the parties to certify that they have irreconcilable differences between them and have had so for a period of time leading up to the filing of the divorce complaint.

In our view, the irreconcilable differences statute will go a long way toward restoring some sense of civility to the divorce process here in Monmouth County and throughout New Jersey, and we applaud the legislature and the governor for their efforts in this regard.