When your ex has moved on but your payments haven’t

You may already know what’s going on.

Your kids talk about “Jim” being at the house all the time.

You see his Audi in the driveway every time you drop them off. It's in the same spot 2 days later when you pick them up.

You can feel that this isn’t just casual dating anymore.

Yet the alimony keeps coming out of your account every month.

It’s hard not to wonder why you’re still paying to support two people.

And if your ex has a narcissistic streak, it’s even more frustrating.

She may deny the seriousness of her relationship with Jim, coach the kids on what to say, or try to make you feel like the one who is crossing lines.

You’ve seen this movie before — she twists the story until you start doubting what’s right in front of you.

At this stage, it’s not about emotion. It’s about facts. You feel that you deserve to know where you stand.

What the Law Actually Says

In New Jersey, alimony can be reviewed or even ended if the recipient is cohabiting with another person.

But it’s not automatic. Exactly what is meant by "cohabitation" under NJ law is not always crystal clear.

The law defines cohabitation as a mutually supportive, intimate relationship that resembles marriage in daily life and social presentation.

Judges don’t rely on rumor or instinct.

Rather, they look for credible, specific evidence that the two people share responsibilities, expenses, and a household. A few weekends together or overnights do not meet the legal definition.

What Judges Consider

Evidence that helps a court understand the true nature of the relationship can include:

• Regular overnight stays that show a consistent pattern

• Shared bills or responsibilities for the home

• Social recognition that they act and appear as a couple

• Overlapping routines involving children, vehicles, mail, or pets

Each case turns on its own facts. What matters most is the quality of the proof, not how unfair the situation feels.

Working with a Narcissistic Ex

Narcissists often try to control the narrative.

They may refuse to cooperate, send mixed messages, or accuse you of harassment just for asking reasonable questions.

The best response is quiet, consistent preparation.

We focus on facts, not arguments, because that’s what judges respect.

My Role

For nearly forty years I’ve represented clients throughout New Jersey in cohabitation cases.

My job is to help you see the situation clearly, evaluate your options, and if you have an appropriate case, counsel you as to how to move forward with confidence.

Sometimes that means investigation.

Sometimes it means organizing what you already have.

Either way, the goal is clarity and a fair outcome under the law.

When You’re Ready to Talk

If you believe that your ex is living with someone and you’re unsure what that means for your alimony case, we can talk it through privately.

Call my assistant, Valerie, at (732) 845-9010 to schedule your strategy session with me personally. We’ll go over:

• Your current situation

• The right investigative approach

• Legal strategies that fit your case

• What you can realistically expect in court

Until next time,

Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.

Specializing in Divorce
Throughout New Jersey