Divorcing a Difficult Spouse in NJ?

We'll Help You Protect Yourself, Your Children, and Your Future.

There are plenty of people getting divorced from good, decent, kind, respectful spouses.

But if your spouse is high-conflict, then my guess is that you already sense that yours may not be a simple divorce case.

When your spouse thrives on control, drama, or manipulation, every step of the process often becomes more complicated than it otherwise might be.

For nearly forty years, I’ve blue_edge_blend

represented clients across New Jersey in high-conflict and narcissistic divorces.

I’ve seen how manipulative spouses weaponize the process, and how smart, steady strategy can neutralize it.

My job is to help you prepare calmly and thoroughly.

We’ll focus on structure, documentation, and communication that judges trust.

The goal is to get you through this without letting your spouse’s behavior dictate your outcome.

My staff and I have handled thousands of high-conflict New Jersey divorce cases since 1987.

We regularly work with people dealing with spouses who are controlling, unpredictable, or difficult to reason with, including situations involving narcissists.

We’ve seen where things go wrong, and how those mistakes might have been avoided with the right guidance early on.

If you’re ready to take a first step, call my assistant Valerie. She will speak with you, understand your situation, and help you determine whether speaking with me might be useful to you.

I invite you to also consider enrolling in my free Divorce Smarter course.

It’s designed to support you with clear, practical guidance about the NJ divorce process, so you can make better decisions and avoid costly mistakes.

You can begin the course online at any time by clicking the blue link below:

Who I Typically Work With

Many of the people I work with are dealing with situations where:

Their spouse is difficult, controlling, or unpredictable

Communication has broken down

Important decisions are being made quickly

They want to avoid mistakes that can’t be undone

In some cases, that includes situations where a spouse may be highly self-centered, manipulative, or what people often describe as "narcissistic."

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I work best with people who want to approach this thoughtfully and make smart, strategic decisions—not escalate conflict unnecessarily.

What Our Clients Say:

"Steve Kaplan represented me in a grueling two year divorce. A trained attorney myself, I give Steve the highest marks."

F.M., Esq.

"As a psychotherapist, I have quite a few clients who have been represented by Steve Kaplan, and have found him to be honest, direct, approachable, and focused."

M.M.S., LCSW

"From the time of the initial consultation through to the end, I felt like I had a big brother in my corner that you did not want to mess with, who had an answer to any and every situation that might arise."

B.N.

"I was in such a difficult situation with little to no hope of ever recovering when I was blessed with finding Steve Kaplan. This man is truly a miracle worker and directs a team of professionals like an orchestra conductor."

L.W.

"He is the most knowledgeable family law attorney I know. He has helped each of my clients obtain extremely favorable results.."

V.M., Esq.

"As a physician in the community, I have benefited greatly from Steve's expertise"

S.S., MD

"In addition to his caring demeanor, his knowledge of the law is unmatched."

K.L., Esq.

"He is the consummate professional that you can trust with the most complicated, emotional process you can possible go through. I have recommended him to others and will continue to do so. Hire him, he's the best!"

J.R.

"Hands down, the best divorce attorney in New Jersey."

D.H.

"He is a very honest man and I believe his honesty is known throughout the Monmouth/Ocean county court system which gives him credibility with both judges and his peers."

A.A.

"Steve Kaplan is without question one of the most caring, knowledgeable and patient Divorce Lawyers."

D.Z.

"I’m glad that I listened to him then, and now 8 years later I’m still glad that I listened to him."

J.F.

"One of New Jersey's best family law attorneys."

J.T.

"Steve Kaplan has earned his place as one of the best lawyers in New Jersey through his knowledge, wisdom, dedication and many long years of experience."

H.S.

"His passion is to provide reliable information for people struggling with divorce issues who need regular support with their legal questions."

M.W.

"He fought hard for what he believed was in my best interest, and Thank God he did. With his help, I was able to rebuild my life. I survived because of Mr.Kaplan's services and highly recommend him."

K.S.

"He is relatable, kind, and straight forward."

C.Z.

"I can't say enough about how well Mr Kaplan treated me and the exceptional service I received by him and his firm."

M.C.

"I want to personally thank you for everything you have done for me. You are a true professional. A miracle happened in my life when I met you."

"If you want an attorney with straightforward integrity, conscientious with your money, and gives extremely honest viewpoints based on his 30 plus years of experience, Steve is the attorney for you."

B.P.

"Steve Kaplan is the only family law attorney I will ever refer anyone to see. He helped me through a difficult divorce with issues including child custody, child support and division of property about 10 years ago and has been available and easily reachable for any concerns I’ve had over the years since."

C.L.

"Steve advised me and worked with me each step of the way, always knowing the specific details of my case. He made me feel like we were working together as a team to get to a positive end result."

L.G.

"The absolute best experience with this team. Working with Steven was one of the best decisions I made during my process. Everyone, and I mean everyone at this firm was so pleasant to work with."

F.J.

"...He proved to be very compassionate and I want to thank him and Valerie for their professionalism throughout the process. Highly Recommend."

C.C.

"He goes the extra mile to make sure that he has all the important information needed to assist the client and reach the best results. I was very satisfied and highly recommend Steve."

P.J.

"Steven takes the time to personally understand your case. He is definitely a great lawyer, who works for his clients , and it's never driven by money, you come first...this is a rare trait in this world today."

P.S.

"Steve is an excellent attorney and is always looking for new and innovative ways to better serve his clients. Easy to work with and draws on his extensive knowledge and experience to get great results."

K.M.

"Steven J. Kaplan took what was literally a spiraling out of control legal situation due to a conflict between two other attorneys....he locked it down and wrapped it up with a mutually agreeable bow for two formerly warring ex-spouses who share a minor child. He makes miracles happen."

P.Y.

"Steve is a fantastic divorce lawyer who deeply cares about his clients. Exactly who you'd want by your side in a difficult time."

R.M., Esq.

"Perfect!"

P.S.

"5 Stars"

J.M.

"I found him to be a compassionate, caring professional with a good grasp of the details at a time when I was drowning in a lot of difficult feelings. I have concluded the dissolution of my marriage, and have the strength to carry on, and I give him and his firm a lot of credit for that."

P.O.

What This Looks Like in Real Situations

Many of the people who consult with me are dealing with a difficult or high-conflict spouse.

They are often anxious, unsure what might happen next, and worried about making the wrong move.

Here are a few examples of situations I’ve handled:

A physician who was concerned about being pushed into paying far more alimony than was fair.

A business owner whose spouse had little involvement in the business but was making overly-aggressive financial claims.

A parent dealing with a manipulative spouse who was intentionally saying things to the children to harm their relationship with my client..

A high-income household where there was concern that improper financial manipulation by a controlling spouse would create negative financial consequences for my client.

In each of these situations, the client came in worried about what could go wrong, given how controlling, intense, or unpredictable their spouse could be.

In all cases, the goal was to develop a strategy to prevent their high-conflict spouses from unfairly distorting the outcome of the case.

What Happens Next

If you decide to call us by phone first, here’s how it works:

You’ll speak briefly with my assistant, Valerie, so we can understand your situation
If it makes sense, we’ll schedule a short initial call with me
On that call, I’ll listen to what’s going on and point you in the right direction
If you want more detailed guidance, we can schedule a full consultation.
If you’re not ready to speak with us yet, you can start with the Divorce Smarter course and learn how the NJ divorce process works before making any major decisions.

You Don't Have to figure This Out Alone

Whether you’re ready to speak now or just want to understand your options, the important thing is to avoid making decisions that create problems later.

You can start with a short conversation, or begin with the course and take it step by step.