“I’ve built a successful life over 25 years, and now she’s trying to destroy it.”
That’s what a doctor from Holmdel told me during our first consultation.
He was furious.
And very, very worried.
He told me:
“She’s spinning the story to anyone who will listen.”
“She’s threatening to ruin my reputation and take the kids."
“She’s acting like the victim, while she's actually pushing every button she can.”
"She's nuts!"
He said that he wasn’t afraid of conflict.
Rather, he was afraid of being destroyed by his wife's intentional lies.
Certain types of high-conflict people sometimes don’t want a fair divorce.
Rather, I believe that they tend to focus on getting control and power over their spouse.
If your spouse:
Plays the victim while provoking chaos behind closed doors
Turns your children into pawns
Accuses you of what he or she is actually doing
Pushes you to your edge — then tells the court that you’re unstable
You're likely not imagining it.
Rather, you may be in a very real, very strategic fight.
People in your situation sometimes ask me:
– “How do I protect my kids from this insanity?”
– “How do I shield my business and assets from this irrationality?”
– “What happens if the judge believes my spouse's act?”
I tell them "Relax. We've dealt with this before", and I will refer them to our many client Google reviews. (Of course, I also tell them that every case is different, and I cannot predict what a judge will do in ANY case)
What Our Clients Say:
"Steve Kaplan represented me in a grueling two year divorce. A trained attorney myself, I give Steve the highest marks."
F.M., Esq.
"As a psychotherapist, I have quite a few clients who have been represented by Steve Kaplan, and have found him to be honest, direct, approachable, and focused."
M.M.S., LCSW
"From the time of the initial consultation through to the end, I felt like I had a big brother in my corner that you did not want to mess with, who had an answer to any and every situation that might arise."
B.N.
"I was in such a difficult situation with little to no hope of ever recovering when I was blessed with finding Steve Kaplan. This man is truly a miracle worker and directs a team of professionals like an orchestra conductor."
L.W.
"He is the most knowledgeable family law attorney I know. He has helped each of my clients obtain extremely favorable results.."
V.M., Esq.
"As a physician in the community, I have benefited greatly from Steve's expertise"
S.S., MD
"In addition to his caring demeanor, his knowledge of the law is unmatched."
K.L., Esq.
"He is the consummate professional that you can trust with the most complicated, emotional process you can possible go through. I have recommended him to others and will continue to do so. Hire him, he's the best!"
J.R.
"Hands down, the best divorce attorney in New Jersey."
D.H.
"He is a very honest man and I believe his honesty is known throughout the Monmouth/Ocean county court system which gives him credibility with both judges and his peers."
A.A.
"Steve Kaplan is without question one of the most caring, knowledgeable and patient Divorce Lawyers."
D.Z.
"I’m glad that I listened to him then, and now 8 years later I’m still glad that I listened to him."
J.F.
"One of New Jersey's best family law attorneys."
J.T.
"Steve Kaplan has earned his place as one of the best lawyers in New Jersey through his knowledge, wisdom, dedication and many long years of experience."
H.S.
"His passion is to provide reliable information for people struggling with divorce issues who need regular support with their legal questions."
M.W.
"He fought hard for what he believed was in my best interest, and Thank God he did. With his help, I was able to rebuild my life. I survived because of Mr.Kaplan's services and highly recommend him."
K.S.
"He is relatable, kind, and straight forward."
C.Z.
"I can't say enough about how well Mr Kaplan treated me and the exceptional service I received by him and his firm."
M.C.
"I want to personally thank you for everything you have done for me. You are a true professional. A miracle happened in my life when I met you."
MJ
"If you want an attorney with straightforward integrity, conscientious with your money, and gives extremely honest viewpoints based on his 30 plus years of experience, Steve is the attorney for you."
B.P.
"Steve Kaplan is the only family law attorney I will ever refer anyone to see. He helped me through a difficult divorce with issues including child custody, child support and division of property about 10 years ago and has been available and easily reachable for any concerns I’ve had over the years since."
C.L.
"Steve advised me and worked with me each step of the way, always knowing the specific details of my case. He made me feel like we were working together as a team to get to a positive end result."
L.G.
"The absolute best experience with this team. Working with Steven was one of the best decisions I made during my process. Everyone, and I mean everyone at this firm was so pleasant to work with."
F.J.
"...He proved to be very compassionate and I want to thank him and Valerie for their professionalism throughout the process. Highly Recommend."
C.C.
"He goes the extra mile to make sure that he has all the important information needed to assist the client and reach the best results. I was very satisfied and highly recommend Steve."
P.J.
"Steven takes the time to personally understand your case. He is definitely a great lawyer, who works for his clients , and it's never driven by money, you come first...this is a rare trait in this world today."
P.S.
"Steve is an excellent attorney and is always looking for new and innovative ways to better serve his clients. Easy to work with and draws on his extensive knowledge and experience to get great results."
K.M.
"Steven J. Kaplan took what was literally a spiraling out of control legal situation due to a conflict between two other attorneys....he locked it down and wrapped it up with a mutually agreeable bow for two formerly warring ex-spouses who share a minor child. He makes miracles happen."
P.Y.
"Steve is a fantastic divorce lawyer who deeply cares about his clients. Exactly who you'd want by your side in a difficult time."
R.M., Esq.
"Perfect!"
P.S.
"5 Stars"
J.M.
"I found him to be a compassionate, caring professional with a good grasp of the details at a time when I was drowning in a lot of difficult feelings. I have concluded the dissolution of my marriage, and have the strength to carry on, and I give him and his firm a lot of credit for that."
P.O.
I’m Steve Kaplan, a NJ divorce lawyer with 37 years of experience.
And I’ve handled many high-conflict divorces.
That’s part of the reason I created Divorce Smarter, a free, private, no-nonsense email series for people who need to out-think a manipulator.
Inside, you’ll learn:
How to structure your case to survive your spouse's lies
What judges in New Jersey tend to actually respond to
How to protect your kids from alienation
How to document the facts like a pro
How to stay composed when your spouse is throwing emotional grenades at you
What You Get: Fast, Focused, and Private
When you enter your email, you’ll receive:
Steve Kaplan’s NJ Divorce Guide: A 10-minute crash course that explains the NJ divorce process clearly, with no fluff.
A Daily Strategy Series Built for High-Stakes Divorce
Bite-sized email lessons on:
– Custody and parenting time
– Asset protection
– How to avoid courtroom traps
– How to respond (or not) when your spouse attacks
– Reputation management and long-game strategy
No name required.
Not A Normal Divorce
High-conflict divorce cases do not normally involve two reasonable people:
Dividing property; and
Sharing parenting time; and
Working out support; and
Moving on.
Those routine cases have their challenges too.
But compared to divorcing say, a narcissist, they are the easy ones.
VIDEO: Should You Mediate? Or Go To Court? (60 second video answer)
There Are No Guarantees in Court
You cannot control your spouse's behavior.
But you CAN control how you prepare, how you respond, and how you present your case.
Having a strategy that anticipates these patterns can make a real difference.
Over the years, I have built two tools to help people who are divorcing high-conflict spouses in New Jersey.
The first is my law practice and my team of experienced paralegals.
The second is my Divorce Smarter course. I created the course so that people like you could move from confusion to clarity, even before we ever speak.
Inside the course, you will learn how to:
Understand common narcissist divorce tactics
Protect your finances and your reputation
Prepare for battles over custody and parenting time
Build a realistic strategy for a fair and reasonable outcome
It is not therapy.
It is not theory.
It is a practical "divorce education" focused on helping you effectively obtain a better and fairer result in your New Jersey divorce case.ut there is preparation, education, and a strategy tailored to the kind of spouse that you are dealing with.
I understand how overwhelming this feels.
I see it every week.
I get it.
If you need to talk now, call me: (732) 845-9010. Let's see if I can give you some immediate direction.
If you'd rather learn more first, sign up for my Divorce Smarter course on this page.
