Did you ever say to yourself, "I wish I knew then what I know now?"
You know, after something was completed, you realized "If I had only known such and such back then, I would have done things completely differently."
Well, you don't want to be saying, "I wish I knew back when I was going through my divorce what I know now" when it is over.
You need a solid "divorce education" now, before you start and finish your divorce, so that you can make the right decisions to best protect your future.
After your divorce is over is way to late to learn how the divorce game is played.
Welcome To My Website.
We are the ONLY law firm anywhere that handles exclusively Monmouth County divorces.
Maybe you are here because you have heard that I try to help "educate" my clients by writing a lot of articles designed to help divorcing people.
You may have been referred by a friend or other trusted source, or you may have found me online.
No matter how you got here, if you'll spend some time here reading, my website will help you discover how to get the best divorce settlement possible based upon your particular circumstances.
I'm going to show you how one client, "Michael", turned his messy divorce situation around, achieving a favorable outcome, as a way of showing you your options. ("Michael's" name and the names of the other two people involved have been changed to protect their identities.)
Then I'll guide you to the resources on this website that will help you prepare for your divorce.
To get started, let me tell you about Michael...
"I WANT A DIVORCE" HIS WIFE SAID
He is in shock and has not slept more than 3 hours a night for the past two weeks.
"She's gonna take me for everything that I've got!," Michael said in a defeated voice.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Certainly not everything is within your ability to control when it comes to divorce.
But a lot of things are.
How "fair" the final terms of a person's divorce case ends up can depend upon how well he or she prepares.
They live in Holmdel with their 3 kids. They have been married for 19 years. Their marriage wasn't always bad.
There were some good times, for sure.
Michael commutes to New York City daily, boarding the Seastreak Ferry at 6 am, and getting home at 8 pm. It's a very long day.
As life got more complicated, marriage hasn't always been easy.
He and his wife, Barbara, disagree over many things, but especially money.
Notwithstanding his six-figure income, living in an upscale community by the Jersey Shore is very expensive.
Their credit card bills were increasing at an alarming rate. He feels that she is overspending "like a drunken sailor."
As a result, Michael recently cancelled most of Barbara's credit cards.
Barbara was furious, calling him an obsessive-compulsive control freak, and demanding that he restore her full charging abilities.
THE OTHER WOMAN
A week later, Barbara angrily confronted him, saying that he has been seen drinking with a woman in the ferry's onboard bar. "Not only are you a control freak, but you are a cheater and an alcoholic!" she yelled.
Michael felt that he had been unfairly attacked. He didn't cheat. He doesn't even know the woman's name.
And he denied that he has a problem with alcohol.
He yelled back at her, "...you are a bi-polar, financially irresponsible nut job, just like your wacky mother."
That didn't go over well with his wife.
It was a bad night, one of many bad nights that had been becoming more frequent. He slept in the guest room alone.
THE LAST STRAW
Over gin and tonics in the ferry's lounge the next evening, Michael shared his marital problems with the woman, learning for the first time that her name is "Veronica", and that she had recently gone through a divorce in Monmouth County.
Veronica was very nice and understanding, and he couldn't help noticing that she wasn't bad to look at, either.
She offered to help and handed him my business card, saying "this was my lawyer. Call him".
Michael and Veronica also exchanged cellphone numbers.
He began texting her, and he found that when he texted Veronica about his marital problems, she was quick to respond with good advice.
It made him feel better.
One night, his wife saw his texts with Veronica, called him a "liar", a "cheater", and a "low-life", and stopped speaking to him altogether.
She locked the master bedroom door and told him to go back to the guest room.
Michael tried talking to his wife but all she would do is curse at him for his texting with Veronica.
He tried doing something special by buying his wife a new necklace, but she would not even unwrap the box.
He increased Barbara's spending limit on her remaining Am Ex card to $2000, but she just shook her head and laughed, mumbling something about "...going for the jugular...".
He tried to convince her to attend marriage counseling with him but that, too, failed.
Michael really feels that he has given it his all.
BARBARA FILES FOR DIVORCE
Yesterday after work, a man approached Michael as he and Veronica were exiting the ferry and served him with a Summons and Complaint for Divorce.
He was stunned.
When he got home, he pleaded with his wife to withdraw the divorce complaint, and he again asked her to please attend marriage counseling with him.
Barbara said, "If you want counseling, go get counseling. I want a divorce, and I'm gonna take you for everything that you've got!"
"This is simply not going to work out", Michael said to himself.
"I can't fix our marriage alone, and my wife has no interest in trying to work things out with me. I think that I'll be better off working on trying to protect myself."
He has saved quite a bit in a 401(k), an IRA, a pension, and in cash during his 19 years of working in New York, and he doesn't want to lose it all to his wife.
Nor does he want to give away all of the stock and RSU's that he has received.
In addition, Michael is frightened about his future and that of his kids. He's not sure that his wife can handle the kids alone based upon her emotional issues without him being there, and he is considering the possibility of seeking primary child custody.
He is also facing the thought of being alone again, of being broke, of having to start all over with the dating scene, and being a single father to 3 kids.
Michael is scared, and he realizes that he needs some serious help.
MICHAEL GOT HELP RIGHT HERE
Veronica told Michael that we did a great job for her during her divorce. She recommended this website to him, and in particular, she told him to start reading the articles.
He did and he learned quite a bit.
That information gave him courage, and his new-found courage helped him make better decisions.
He said that he felt empowered by what he read.
He then hired me to represent him in his divorce case. Michael said that he loved the fact that I handle only divorce cases, and exclusively in Monmouth County. That gave him comfort.
I helped him understand the law, the way our divorce court judges tend to apply the law here in Monmouth County, and various settlement options.
I also recommended several therapists and financial experts to him.
Michael hired a therapist and he got a first-rate financial advisor .
The therapist helped him deal with his anxiety.
The financial advisor helped him get a better grasp on his finances and helped him prepare his Case Information Statement.
Michael also attended a special custody mediation program at the Court House.
Counsel for the parties exchanged multiple settlement proposals, and both parties with their attorneys present participated in mediation of the economic issues.
Ultimately, he settled the case in a way that met his needs and the needs of his children.
HIS LIFE GOT BACK ON TRACK
Barbara was not able to "take him for all that he's got."
Not even close. It was a fair deal.
Today, Michael looks like a new man. He is sleeping well. No more dark black circles under his eyes.
He stopped drinking. He looks happy. He tells his friends that "life is good", and that he is feeling better and more confident.
Michael's relationship with his children has never been better.
He was surprised to find that he is not lonely. Rather, he's enjoying his freedom. He's dating.
He's able to afford to do what's important to him.
HOW YOU CAN GET HELP HERE
You came to this website because you have questions. You may also have a certain amount of fear of the unknown, too.
To address the fear of the unknown, you need to find out what your options are regarding financial issues, property issues, and issues involving your relationship with your kids.
Then you need to carefully develop and then implement the best strategy for maximizing your financial entitlement and getting full protection for your relationship with your children.
But before you can consider your options and plan a strategy, you have to have your questions answered.
That is precisely what "Michael" did, and it is what gave him the foundation of a successful divorce settlement.
There are three ways for you to get your "divorce education" here.
First, read my article called, "Introduction to the Monmouth County Divorce Process."
Second, I offer you 84 more useful articles. Flip through the list and read those articles that interest you. They are all brief, easy to understand, and to the point.
Third, at the top of every page of this website on the right is a box called "Search Topics." Use this feature to search this website for any divorce-related topic that you want to learn more about.
So you might want to bookmark this website and come back as needed to review the articles that become more relevant to you as your divorce case progresses.
If you do not get what I call a "divorce education" before you go through the divorce process, you will put yourself at risk of saying down the road, "I wish I knew then what I know now" about getting divorced.
That's not a position that you want to be in. Once its over, its over.
Spend the time now. This site offers you a free "divorce education." Take advantage of it.
And, when you are ready to carefully consider your options and plan a strategy, if you would like some personal help from me, either call me at (732)-845-9010 or click here to send me an email.