About 20 years ago, I first noticed a dramatic increase in new clients telling me that their spouse was "a narcissist".
For most people, it took years for them to put the pieces together and figure out what all of the craziness meant.
I related to what they were saying.
Indeed, I knew people who fit the description of the spouses that I was regularly hearing about.
Some neighbors. Some acquaintances. Some doctors. Some family members.
And a whole lot of lawyers and Judges (just kidding... but there were some).
What the heck was a "narcissist" anyway?
And why were there so many of them?
I wondered.
I was interested, and started reading everything I could get my hands on about narcissists.
And "narcissistic tendencies".
I attended seminars.
I participated in discussions.
And I learned.
I continue to learn.
So if you're here because you figured out that your spouse is a narcissist, you're not crazy, and you’re not alone.
"Lori" from Holmdel came to me scared, exhausted, and second-guessing everything. (name changed for privacy)
Her husband made her feel like she was the problem, for everything.
He gaslit her.
He lied.
He told their kids that she was unstable.
He even convinced her first lawyer to back off.
By the time Lori found me, she wasn’t just looking for a divorce.
She told me that she needed a lawyer who could see the patterns, plan around the manipulation, and actually fight back strategically.
Some Divorce Lawyers Don’t Understand Narcissists
But I do.
I continue to learn more and more each month.
If you are married to a "narc", then you and I both know that you’re not likely to have a “normal” divorce.
No way.
This isn’t about two reasonable people dividing property, sharing their kids, working out support, and moving on.
Those cases have their own challenges too.
But compared to divorcing a narcissist, those are the easy cases.
When you’re divorcing a narcissist, you may be dealing with:
• Habitual lying
• Financial manipulation
• Co-parenting chaos
• Endless court delays
• And so much more negative behavior.
A law team who understands these games, and who can help you come up with a counter-strategy for each one, could be useful.
My paralegals and I are that team.
And so I offer you two tools.
One is me and my amazingly talented staff of paralegals (Eileen, Valerie, and Lisa).
And the other is a free educational program that I put together that will really help you.
I created The Guide to Divorcing a Narcissist in NJ to help people like you move from confusion to clarity:
- Learn how the narcissist tends to behave during a divorce
- Protect your finances and your reputation
- Build a strategy to gain a fair and reasonable result in your case
- Sign Up Free
- Take the first step.
- No pressure.
- Just smart guidance.
Join the free course.
Just fill in your email in the form on this page.
Or if you need immediate serious help, call my assistant, Valerie, at (732) 845-9010 and she'll get you scheduled to speak with me soon.
I'm happy to help.
Steve Kaplan