Divorcing a "Narcissist"?
Many of the people who consult with me tell me that their husband or wife is "a narcissist".
And they may be technically accurate.
But here’s the problem: most judges don’t usually put much stock in labels like "narcissist", unless a mental health professional has made a formal diagnosis.
As such, when a person walks into court saying, “my husband is a narcissist,” the judge often tunes it out.
So try not to do that.
Instead, try to focus on what judges DO tend to pay attention to: behavior.
And high-conflict spouses—whether you call them narcissists or something else—tend to lie, manipulate, gaslight, and drag the process out to wear you down.
So that’s why I focus on trying to accurately describe the objectionable behavior to a judge.
With 37 years of experience in high-conflict divorces, I can often recognize the games, anticipate the next move, and keep the case on track—so that the outcome is fair to both sides.
And isn’t that what you really want?
My free NJ Divorce Course shows you how to move from initial uncertainty about divorcing a high-conflict spouse to the ultimate "fair" settlement of the case, step by step.
Check it out here:

"My wife is a Narcissist...
....and I just found out that she is sleeping with my best friend. I want a divorce!"
That's the first thing that Rob told me.
Rob's a good guy who has gone through hell.
Understandably, he was a bit of a mess when we first met.
But he's turned it all around and made a great life for himself and his kids.
I'll show you how he did it, and I'll give you ideas for how you can get a fair settlement, too.

My Top 10 Ideas To Help You Divorce A High-Conflict Spouse
There are certain things that you can do to level the playing field if you are about to divorce a narcissistic or other high-conflict spouse...

Are You REALLY Married To A Narcissist?
About 20 years ago, I began noticing an uptick in the number of new clients who told me that they were married to "a narcissist"...
What Our Clients Say:
"Steve Kaplan represented me in a grueling two year divorce. A trained attorney myself, I give Steve the highest marks."
F.M., Esq.
"As a psychotherapist, I have quite a few clients who have been represented by Steve Kaplan, and have found him to be honest, direct, approachable, and focused."
M.M.S., LCSW
"From the time of the initial consultation through to the end, I felt like I had a big brother in my corner that you did not want to mess with, who had an answer to any and every situation that might arise."
B.N.
"I was in such a difficult situation with little to no hope of ever recovering when I was blessed with finding Steve Kaplan. This man is truly a miracle worker and directs a team of professionals like an orchestra conductor."
L.W.
"He is the most knowledgeable family law attorney I know. He has helped each of my clients obtain extremely favorable results.."
V.M., Esq.
"As a physician in the community, I have benefited greatly from Steve's expertise"
S.S., MD
"In addition to his caring demeanor, his knowledge of the law is unmatched."
K.L., Esq.
"He is the consummate professional that you can trust with the most complicated, emotional process you can possible go through. I have recommended him to others and will continue to do so. Hire him, he's the best!"
J.R.
"Hands down, the best divorce attorney in New Jersey."
D.H.
"He is a very honest man and I believe his honesty is known throughout the Monmouth/Ocean county court system which gives him credibility with both judges and his peers."
A.A.
"Steve Kaplan is without question one of the most caring, knowledgeable and patient Divorce Lawyers."
D.Z.
"I’m glad that I listened to him then, and now 8 years later I’m still glad that I listened to him."
J.F.
"One of New Jersey's best family law attorneys."
J.T.
"Steve Kaplan has earned his place as one of the best lawyers in New Jersey through his knowledge, wisdom, dedication and many long years of experience."
H.S.
"His passion is to provide reliable information for people struggling with divorce issues who need regular support with their legal questions."
M.W.
"He fought hard for what he believed was in my best interest, and Thank God he did. With his help, I was able to rebuild my life. I survived because of Mr.Kaplan's services and highly recommend him."
K.S.
"He is relatable, kind, and straight forward."
C.Z.
"I can't say enough about how well Mr Kaplan treated me and the exceptional service I received by him and his firm."
M.C.
"I want to personally thank you for everything you have done for me. You are a true professional. A miracle happened in my life when I met you."
MJ
"If you want an attorney with straightforward integrity, conscientious with your money, and gives extremely honest viewpoints based on his 30 plus years of experience, Steve is the attorney for you."
B.P.
"Steve Kaplan is the only family law attorney I will ever refer anyone to see. He helped me through a difficult divorce with issues including child custody, child support and division of property about 10 years ago and has been available and easily reachable for any concerns I’ve had over the years since."
C.L.
"Steve advised me and worked with me each step of the way, always knowing the specific details of my case. He made me feel like we were working together as a team to get to a positive end result."
L.G.
"The absolute best experience with this team. Working with Steven was one of the best decisions I made during my process. Everyone, and I mean everyone at this firm was so pleasant to work with."
F.J.
"...He proved to be very compassionate and I want to thank him and Valerie for their professionalism throughout the process. Highly Recommend."
C.C.
"He goes the extra mile to make sure that he has all the important information needed to assist the client and reach the best results. I was very satisfied and highly recommend Steve."
P.J.
"Steven takes the time to personally understand your case. He is definitely a great lawyer, who works for his clients , and it's never driven by money, you come first...this is a rare trait in this world today."
P.S.
"Steve is an excellent attorney and is always looking for new and innovative ways to better serve his clients. Easy to work with and draws on his extensive knowledge and experience to get great results."
K.M.
"Steven J. Kaplan took what was literally a spiraling out of control legal situation due to a conflict between two other attorneys....he locked it down and wrapped it up with a mutually agreeable bow for two formerly warring ex-spouses who share a minor child. He makes miracles happen."
P.Y.
"Steve is a fantastic divorce lawyer who deeply cares about his clients. Exactly who you'd want by your side in a difficult time."
R.M., Esq.
"Perfect!"
P.S.
"5 Stars"
J.M.
"I found him to be a compassionate, caring professional with a good grasp of the details at a time when I was drowning in a lot of difficult feelings. I have concluded the dissolution of my marriage, and have the strength to carry on, and I give him and his firm a lot of credit for that."
P.O.
The Course
Divorce is hard enough when both sides are reasonable.
But when one spouse thrives on conflict, the process can quickly spiral into lies, manipulation, and endless delay.
That’s why I created this course.
It’s built from 37 years of experience helping people deal with high-conflict husbands and wives (people others often describe as “narcissists).”
It’s 100% anonymous and risk-free:
I don’t ask for your name
Your spouse will never know
Your email is only used to send the lessons
You can stop anytime with one click—no follow-ups, ever
What You’ll Learn
Short daily lessons and simple videos
A clear step-by-step roadmap
Legal, financial, and emotional strategies
Practical insights that help you stay in control
Sneak Peek
Watch a 1-minute preview to see how I teach.
Join Free Today
Over 5,000 people have already taken the course. You can start your first lesson right now.