The first thing that "Christine" (not her real name) said to me was, “My husband is a narcissist. And he’s been gaslighting me for years.”
Then she added, almost in a whisper, “I want out.”
I'm Colts Neck divorce attorney Steve Kaplan
and I share Christine's story with you because it will help you.
Christine’s been through a lot.
When we first spoke, she felt scared, exhausted, and unsure of her next move.
But she found her footing — and got the clarity, support, and legal protection she needed.
Let me tell you how she did it. It might give you a roadmap for your own divorce.
“HE’S NOT WHO I MARRIED.”
Christine and Gary live in Fair Haven, New Jersey.
They’ve got two kids in middle school and a house with a mortgage Christine mostly paid down from her inheritance.
Christine runs a successful interior design business. She works hard, has a steady client base, and manages to juggle parenting and work with very little help from Gary.
Gary, in contrast, has had six different jobs in ten years. His temper is legendary in their neighborhood. He often blames others — including Christine — for his setbacks.
“He’s always right, always the victim, and always furious,” she told me. “I walk on eggshells every day.”
For years, she tried to keep the peace — for the kids, and because she feared what would happen if she stood up to him.
But then something happened that made her realize she had to get out.
THE FINAL STRAW
One morning, Christine woke up to a text from Gary, sent from the basement.
“I need space. Don’t come down here. And don’t question me.”
She hadn’t seen him the night before. He came home late, stormed past her and the kids, and locked himself in the basement “office” he rarely used.
Later that week, Christine’s daughter came upstairs crying.
“Dad said you’re mentally unstable and ruining his life. He said he’s recording everything you say.”
That night, Christine checked the basement.
She found two things:
A small digital recorder on the bookshelf.
A half-written email on his computer to a woman named “Liz,” saved in drafts. The message was intimate. Too intimate. And disturbing.
“Liz —
You understand me in a way Christine never has.
I’m trapped here, but not for long. She’s erratic. I’m documenting everything for court.
Soon I’ll be free. We’ll be together.”
Christine froze.
She knew Gary was unfaithful before. But this was different.
This was a plan.
A campaign.
A setup.
CHRISTINE IS SHAKING
She called her best friend, who said, “You need a lawyer. Now.”
Christine emailed me at 2:12 AM.
Her subject line: “My narcissistic husband is turning the kids against me.”
The next morning, we spoke.
Her voice was shaking, but she was crystal clear: “He’s manipulating the kids. He’s probably been planning this for months. I’m scared that if I file, he’s going to try to destroy me.”
HER CONCERNS
Christine told me she wanted to protect her kids, her business, and her inheritance.
She worried he would try to file first and twist the story.
She feared he’d make false claims about her mental health.
And she was terrified he’d seek sole physical custody — not because he wanted it, but because he’d use it to punish her.
“I need to be smart,” she said. “I can’t let him bait me. I need a strategy.”
CHRISTINE FINDS CLARITY
I told Christine about my DIVORCE COURSE — the same course many others have used when their worlds were falling apart.
She signed up that day, on her phone, while sitting in the car in the Fair Haven CVS parking lot.
Within minutes, the first email arrived.
Christine told me later:
“That first email shifted everything.
It explained what narcissists do in court.
It warned me about the games he might play.
And it reminded me not to react — but to plan.”
Each day, she read the next email.
She started writing things down.
Keeping records.
Getting organized.
BUILDING HER TEAM
Christine retained me as her attorney a week later.
We worked together to build a strong legal foundation calmly and methodically.
I connected her with a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse recovery.
That therapist helped her sort through the emotional manipulation and stay grounded.
We also brought in a financial analyst to document her income, trace her premarital inheritance, and prepare for the alimony and asset division battle we knew was coming.
THE STORM SHE KNEW WAS COMING
As anticipated, Gary initially acted out.
He tried to file first — accusing Christine of being “volatile and emotionally unstable.”
He demanded primary custody and a huge chunk of Christine’s business.
But our preparation paid off.
We countered with evidence — calmly, factually, and legally.
We brought in a forensic psychologist to document the children's actual living patterns and preferences, and to prove that Gary's narcissistic tendencies were a detriment to our children's best interest.
We kept Christine out of the drama and focused on the facts.
THEY SETTLED FAIRLY
Eventually, after two failed attempts at bluff and intimidation, Gary’s lawyer came to the table.
We negotiated a settlement that protected Christine’s parenting time, her business, and the home her kids had always known.
There was no trial.
No scene.
No public meltdown.
Just a quiet hearing in Freehold.
And a sense of peace Christine told me she hadn’t felt in years.
CHRISTINE IS FREE
Christine’s life today looks very different.
She’s still in Fair Haven.
Still running her design business.
Still raising two thoughtful kids.
But now, her home is calm.
She’s found a new rhythm. She calls it “light and quiet.”
When she checked in with me recently, she said:
“I don’t know how I stayed so long. But your NJ divorce course gave me the right path, one step at a time.”
And then she added,
“Tell other women like me:
You don’t have to yell.
You don’t have to panic.
You just need a plan.”
Would you like that plan?
Start with STEVE KAPLAN'S DIVORCE COURSE — and take your first real step toward peace, protection, and a life that feels like yours again.
Just enter your email address into the form on this page.
Your first email will arrive within minutes — calm, clear, and written for someone who’s ready to move forward.
Ready?
Let’s get started.
—Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing in Divorce in Monmouth County
5 Professional Circle, Colts Neck, NJ 07722
📞 (732) 845-9010