If so, then you know that there will likely be no easy path to ending such a tumultuous relationship.
However, with the right knowledge and guidance, it can be much easier to successfully divorce your New Jersey narcissist.
In this article, I will discuss 10 unique challenges that divorcing a narcissist may involve compared to other types of divorce cases, and I give you tips on how best to navigate this difficult situation.
By the end of this article you will have greater insight into what getting divorced from your narcissistic spouse may involve, and you will feel better prepared to take steps toward reclaiming yourself.
I'll then give you a link to a really helpful free resource that will give you much more useful information to help you during your divorce journey.
Ready?
Let's go...
In my opinion, the ten most significant behaviors that your narcissistic spouse may employ in your divorce case are these:
1. CONTROL
Financial Control: Freeze joint assets, document everything, hire a good divorce attorney, consider closing joint accounts, protect your credit, and seek professional help.
Emotional Control: Set boundaries, seek support, focus on self-care, document everything, stay informed, and hire a good divorce attorney.
Legal Control: Keep records, be prepared, avoid provocation, stay calm and focused, follow court orders, and hire a good divorce attorney.
Parental Control: Understand your legal rights, keep detailed records, communicate effectively, establish boundaries, seek support, and prioritize your children's best interests.
2. LACK OF EMPATHY
Having a narcissistic spouse can make negotiating difficult due to their limited empathy for your feelings and needs.
They may dismiss your emotions, blame you for everything, minimize your experiences, ignore your boundaries, prioritize their own needs, fail to acknowledge the impact on children, and show no remorse for their behavior.
3. MANIPULATION
Narcissists use various tactics to manipulate others, such as charm, flattery, guilt, and intimidation.
During divorce, a narcissistic spouse may use these tactics to get what they want.
Examples include gaslighting to make the other person doubt themselves, blaming the other person for everything, triangulating by involving others to create drama, using threats to intimidate, portraying themselves as the victim to gain sympathy, emotional blackmail, and financial manipulation.
4. BLAME-SHIFTING
Narcissistic spouses often refuse to take responsibility for their actions and blame others for their problems.
During a divorce, blame-shifting is a common tactic that narcissists may use.
Examples include blaming their spouse for all of the marriage problems, downplaying their own behavior, denying responsibility, blaming others, portraying themselves as the victim, and using the children as pawns.
5. GASLIGHTING
Gaslighting is a dangerous tactic used by narcissistic spouses during a divorce, which leaves the victim feeling confused and unable to trust their own judgment.
Narcissists use various forms of gaslighting to manipulate their partners and gain an advantage in court proceedings.
They deny reality, twist the truth, dismiss their partner's emotions, make them doubt their sanity, and use others to validate their perspective.
Victims must recognize these tactics and seek help from experienced professionals.
6. GRANDIOSITY
Narcissists in divorce cases demand special treatment and believe that they are entitled to more than their fair share of assets.
They may display grandiose behavior, including bragging about their accomplishments and belittling their spouse's achievements.
They may exaggerate their importance, make unrealistic demands, and refuse to compromise.
Narcissists may blame their spouse for the breakdown of the marriage and portray themselves as victims.
They may use the legal system to intimidate their spouse and disregard their children's needs, putting their own desires first.
7. ENTITLEMENT.
8. ARROGANCE
Narcissists are known for their sense of superiority, which can make communication with them difficult. This trait is particularly apparent during a divorce, where narcissists may exhibit various forms of arrogance.
For example, they may belittle their spouse by criticizing their parenting abilities, career, or appearance.
They may also refuse to take responsibility for their actions that led to the divorce, instead blaming their spouse or external factors.
Narcissists may also refuse to compromise during the divorce proceedings, insisting on getting everything they want, even if it prolongs the proceedings and causes more stress and expense.
Additionally, they may act superior to others involved in the divorce process, such as lawyers, judges, or mediators, believing that their opinion is the only one that matters.
Finally, narcissists may boast about their achievements during the divorce process, attempting to prove their superiority over their spouse. They may exaggerate their accomplishments or downplay their spouse's contributions to the marriage.
9. LACK OF BOUNDARIES
Narcissists struggle with respecting boundaries and may violate privacy or personal space, especially during a divorce.
Examples of lack of boundaries include inappropriate communication, invading privacy, refusing to respect boundaries, trying to control their spouse's life, and using their children as pawns.
10. EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY: .
Narcissists may have intense emotional reactions and become irrational or volatile when negotiating with them.
During a divorce, narcissists may exhibit emotional instability, such as explosive anger, extreme mood swings, depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behavior.
This is due to their inability to handle the loss of control and disruption of their idealized self-image.
The divorce process with a narcissist is far from easy.
However, by understanding the unique challenges that may come with divorcing your NJ narcissist and equipping yourself with strategies to handle them, you can move forward more confidently.
With an appreciation of how to navigate the situation and gain back control of your life, you can start getting prepared and taking steps towards a future of healing.
If you are considering getting divorced or have already begun the process, I highly recommend enrolling in my free DIVORCE EDGE 2023 course.
With this comprehensive program you will get the resources and guidance needed to help you make sense out of the complex situation of getting a divorce in New Jersey from a narcissist.
My course offers you a no-cost opportunity to achieve a more secure post-divorce future. I think you owe it to yourself to at least take a look.
Until next time,
Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing In Divorce
Throughout New Jersey
5 Professional Circle
Colts Neck, NJ. 07722
www.KaplanDivorce.com
(732) 845-9010