“My wife is a narcissist. And she’s been gaslighting me for years.”
That’s what Anthony (not his real name) from Little Silver told me the first time we spoke.
Then he added, almost in a whisper:
“I need to get out... without losing everything.”
I'm Colts Neck divorce attorney Steve Kaplan,
and I share Anthony’s story with you because you may be in a similar position, and I want you to know how to handle it.
Anthony works in finance.
Smart.
Respected.
High-level.
But at home, he felt like a ghost in his own life.
Tori, his wife, was charming in public yet impossible behind closed doors.
She controlled the narrative, the money, and the emotional temperature of the house.
When she didn’t get her way, she didn’t argue.
Rather, she attacked.
The breaking point came when he told her, carefully and calmly, that he was considering separation.
Her response?
“If you leave me, I’ll destroy you. I’ll take the kids. I’ll ruin you at work. I’ll make you look like the unstable one.”
Anthony didn’t yell.
He didn’t beg.
He called me.
We spoke the next day for just under an hour.
A week later he hired me for his divorce case.
I told him exactly what to do next, step by step.
First, I referred him to a trusted mental health professional (someone who works specifically with high-conflict divorce cases and could begin documenting what Tori was doing.)
Then we tried to schedule a session with a mediator but unfortunately Tori wanted nothing to do with it.
So we put together a quiet, deliberate legal game plan.
And that’s when the real storm began.
Once served with divorce papers, Tori unleashed everything that she had:
-
Accused Anthony of emotional abuse
-
Claimed he was hiding assets
-
Told friends, neighbors, even the school principal that he was “mentally unstable”
-
Demanded full custody and spousal support she wasn’t entitled to
IT COULD HAVE BEEN CHAOS
But it wasn’t.
Because Anthony didn’t respond emotionally.
Rather, he followed my lead.
We stuck to strategy.
We stayed focused on facts.
And we didn’t take the bait.
Every threat she made was met with documentation, legal precision, and calm professionalism.
And because we were prepared?
None of her nonsense worked.
Today, Anthony is divorced.
He has 50/50 shared custody with his kids.
His finances were reasonably protected.
His public reputation remains intact.
And he never had to set foot in a courtroom because we resolved it all through negotiations .
If you’re thinking about leaving a narcissistic wife, you need to know how the divorce process really works in Monmouth County.
That’s part of the reason that I created my free New Jersey Divorce Course.
You’ll learn:
-
What to expect when divorcing a narcissist
-
How to protect your finances, your children, and your reputation
-
What New Jersey courts actually care about—and what they don’t
-
How to avoid the common traps that cause high-earning men to lose control of their case
Start with STEVE KAPLAN'S DIVORCE COURSE, and take your first real step toward peace, protection, and a life that feels like yours again.
Just enter your email address into the form on this page.
Your first email will arrive within minutes — calm, clear, and written for someone who’s ready to move forward.
Ready?
Let’s get started.
—Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing in Divorce in Monmouth County
5 Professional Circle, Colts Neck, NJ 07722
📞 (732) 845-9010