So...you are about to divorce your narcissistic husband or wife.
Hold onto your horses!
I'm curious how many of the following 10 things you expect to encounter while divorcing your narcissistic spouse.
I've included tips for how to best combat some of these traits in your Monmouth County divorce case.
Let's take a look...
1. CONTROL
Is your spouse a "control freak"? Divorce from a narcissist can be tough because of their controlling tactics—financial, emotional, legal, or parental.
Here’s how to combat each type:
- Financial Control: Freeze joint assets, document everything, hire a good attorney, close joint accounts, protect your credit.
- Emotional Control: Set boundaries, get a therapist who understands NPD, prioritize self-care, document, stay informed, hire an attorney who gets it.
- Legal Control: Keep records, stay prepared, avoid provocation, follow court orders.
- Parental Control: Know your rights, document parenting issues, communicate smartly, set boundaries, seek support, focus on the kids' best interests.
2. LACK OF EMPATHY
Does your spouse lack empathy? Negotiating with a narcissist is hard because they don’t care about your feelings or needs.
They may dismiss emotions, blame you, ignore boundaries, and fail to acknowledge how it affects the kids.
Here’s how to protect yourself:
- Recognize the behavior and detach emotionally.
- Set clear boundaries and stick to them.
- Focus on the bigger picture.
- Be strategic and patient.
- Get support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist.
Remember—you can’t change the narcissist, but you can control your response.
3. MANIPULATION
Narcissists manipulate through charm, guilt, threats, or playing the victim. They gaslight, blame, triangulate, and blackmail.
How to respond:
- Educate yourself on narcissism.
- Set consistent boundaries.
- Limit interactions and avoid drama.
- Stay calm and rational.
- Protect your finances with legal and financial help.
4. BLAME-SHIFTING
Narcissists never take responsibility. They blame you for everything—problems in the marriage, the kids, you name it.
5. GASLIGHTING
Gaslighting makes you doubt your own reality. Narcissists deny facts, twist the truth, and use others to validate their version of events.
Recognize this and work with professionals who understand it.
6. GRANDIOSITY
Narcissists believe they are special and deserve more. They demand extra assets, brag, belittle, and refuse to compromise.
7. ENTITLEMENT
- They believe they should get more just because.
- They refuse to compromise.
- They expect attention and praise even during divorce.
- They think their opinion is the only one that matters.
- They get angry if demands aren’t met.
8. ARROGANCE
Narcissists belittle others, blame external factors, and think they’re above lawyers, judges, and mediators. They boast and exaggerate achievements.
9. LACK OF BOUNDARIES
They invade privacy, violate personal space, and use the kids as leverage.
10. EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY
Narcissists have extreme mood swings and emotional outbursts when they feel a loss of control.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Divorcing a narcissist is draining, but recognizing their patterns helps protect you.
Set boundaries, get support, document everything, and hire an attorney who understands this dynamic.
THERE'S A LOT MORE FREE HELP WHERE THIS ARTICLE CAME FROM
If you’re considering divorce from a narcissistic spouse in Monmouth County, you need to learn how to protect yourself, your kids, and your assets.
I'll show you how.
I’ve specialized in NJ divorce law for 37 years and successfully represented many people against narcissistic spouses. I "get it."
My free course teaches you how to turn the situation around to your advantage.
Check it out. You’ll thank yourself later.
Until next time,
Steve Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing In Divorce
Monmouth County
5 Professional Circle
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
www.KaplanDivorce.com
(732) 845-9010