It's that time of year again.
Ugh.
No, I'm not some kind of Scrooge. I enjoy the holidays as much as the next person. But after decades of helping people through divorce in New Jersey, I've learned that the period between Thanksgiving and New Year's can be especially difficult when your marriage is coming apart.
If that's where you are right now, there's something I want you to remember:
January 2nd is right around the corner.
Divorce Can Feel Different During the Holidays
The holidays have a way of magnifying everything. Everywhere you look, there are lights, music, parties, family traditions, and people who seem incredibly happy.
Meanwhile, your family may look very different this year. You may be dividing time with your children, attending events without your spouse, worrying about money, or simply trying to figure out what your life is going to look like next year.
That contrast can make an already difficult divorce feel even harder.
I warn my clients about this every year because sometimes just knowing it's coming helps.
Don't Let the Holidays Control Your Divorce
The holidays can also create pressure to resolve issues immediately. Parenting schedules, gifts, travel, family gatherings, and money can suddenly become major sources of conflict.
Try to keep those disagreements in perspective. A dispute over Christmas morning or a holiday dinner may feel enormous right now, but don't allow a temporary problem to create a permanent legal battle if it doesn't need to.
If children are involved, remember that they're going through this transition too. Keeping them out of the conflict and allowing them to enjoy their holidays should remain a priority.
January 2nd Is Coming
This year's holidays may not look like the holidays you've known in the past. That's part of the transition you're going through.
Then January 2nd arrives.
The decorations come down. The holiday music stops. People go back to work and school, and life starts returning to its normal rhythm.
Your divorce may not be over by then, but this particularly emotional stretch of the year will be.
So if you're going through a divorce this holiday season, keep things in perspective, avoid unnecessary battles, and focus on the decisions that will still matter when January arrives.
If you're preparing for divorce and want to better understand the process, my free Divorce Smarter Course can help you learn what to expect and how to prepare.
Until next time,
Steve