About 20 years ago, I started seeing a pattern.
More and more new clients were quietly telling me:
“I think my spouse is a narcissist.”
They were confused, exhausted, and full of self-doubt.
It often took them years to put the pieces together.
I recognized what they were describing.
In neighbors. Acquaintances. Professionals.
Even a few people in the courts.
So I did what lawyers are supposed to do:
I studied it.
I read everything I could on narcissistic personality traits.
I went to seminars.
I talked to other professionals.
I watched how these cases played out in real New Jersey courtrooms.
And I have kept learning ever since.
If you are here because you think your spouse is a narcissist, I get it.
“Lori” (name changed) came to me from Holmdel.
She was scared, exhausted, and second-guessing everything.
Her husband:
Blamed her for every problem
Gaslit her until she questioned her own memory
Told the kids she was unstable
Intimidated her first lawyer into backing off
By the time she met me, she was not just asking for a divorce.
She said:
“I need a lawyer who can see the patterns, plan around them, and actually fight back.”
That meant more than just filing papers.
It meant understanding how narcissists often behave during divorce and building a strategy around that.
Divorces with narcissistic spouses are rarely “normal.”
This is usually not two reasonable people:
Dividing property
Sharing parenting time
Working out support
And moving on
Those cases have challenges too.
But compared to divorcing a narcissist, they are the easy ones.
With a narcissistic spouse, you may be facing:
Habitual lying
Financial manipulation
Smear campaigns and reputation attacks
Co-parenting chaos
“Flying monkeys” (you know, like the Wicked Witch of the West had... friends and family members who kiss the narcissist's backside and tell him how wonderful he is)
Endless delays and drama in court
You cannot control who your spouse is.
You can control how you prepare, how you respond, and how you present your case.
No lawyer can guarantee a specific outcome.
But having a strategy that anticipates these patterns can make a real difference.
Over the years, I
The first is my law practice and my team of experienced paralegals.
The second is my Divorce Smarter Course.
I created the course so that people like you could move from confusion to clarity, even before we ever speak.
Inside the course, you will learn how to:
Understand common narcissist divorce tactics
Protect your finances and your reputation
Prepare for battles over custody and parenting time
Build a realistic strategy for a fair and reasonable outcome
It is not therapy.
It is not theory.
It is a practical "divorce education" focused on helping you effectively obtain a better and fairer result in your New Jersey divorce.
If you believe that you are married to a narcissist and divorce is on the horizon, you do not have to figure this out blindly.
You are welcome to:
Join my free Divorce Smarter Course; or
Call my assistant, Valerie, at (732) 845-9010 if you need serious help right now.
There are no guarantees in court.
But there is preparation, education, and a strategy tailored to the kind of spouse that you are dealing with.
I understand how overwhelming this feels.
I see it every week.
I get it.
And I am here to help.
Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing In Divorce
Throughout New Jersey
5 Professional Circle
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
www.KaplanDivorce.com
(732) 845-9010