You don't legally have to hire a lawyer to get divorced in New Jersey. You can represent yourself. New Jersey even provides forms and resources for people who choose to handle certain family court matters without an attorney.
So why pay a divorce lawyer if you're allowed to do it yourself? Because there's a big difference between being legally allowed to do something and knowing how to do it correctly.
I learned that lesson many years ago with a 1968 Dodge Coronet.
My 1968 Dodge Coronet
It was the winter of 1978, and I was in my second year at Rutgers College in New Brunswick. We had an enormous snowstorm. Cars were buried almost to their roofs, and when I finally found my old Dodge Coronet underneath all that snow, it wouldn't start.
I was a college student without much money, so paying a mechanic wasn't particularly appealing. I figured I'd fix it myself.
Someone at an auto parts store told me the problem might be the carburetor. So I bought a carburetor kit and carefully replaced it myself, hose by hose and screw by screw.
Everything looked great. Then I got into the car and turned the key. The car caught on fire.
Fortunately, I had a fire extinguisher and was able to put it out. The problem wasn't that I wasn't allowed to repair my own car. Of course I was. The problem was that I had no idea what I was doing.
Can You Get Divorced Without a Lawyer in New Jersey?
Yes, you have the right to represent yourself in a New Jersey divorce. Depending upon how simple your situation is, that may be an option worth considering. But you should understand what you're agreeing to before you make that decision.
A divorce isn't simply about obtaining a piece of paper that says you're no longer married. Depending upon your circumstances, you may also have to resolve issues involving your home, retirement accounts, investments, debts, alimony, child support, custody, parenting time, insurance, taxes, and other assets or obligations.
Once those issues are resolved and incorporated into your divorce judgment or settlement agreement, changing them later may be difficult, expensive, or sometimes impossible. That's where the risk comes in.
When Is a DIY Divorce Riskier?
Not every divorce requires the same level of legal help.
If you've been married for a relatively short time, have no children, own very little property, have similar incomes, and agree about virtually everything, representing yourself may be very different from doing so after a 25-year marriage involving children, a house, retirement accounts, investments, and a significant difference in income.
The more that's at stake, the more important it becomes to understand what you're signing.
I'd be particularly cautious about handling a divorce entirely on your own when there are significant assets, a business or professional practice, complicated compensation, substantial retirement assets, disagreements about custody, possible alimony, domestic violence or safety concerns, or a spouse who isn't being transparent about money.
In those situations, a mistake can have consequences long after the divorce is over.
The Problem Isn't Just the Paperwork
People sometimes assume that hiring a divorce lawyer is primarily about getting the right forms filed. That's only part of it.
A good divorce lawyer should help you understand what information you need, identify issues you may not have considered, evaluate proposed settlement terms, understand the consequences of different choices, and avoid agreeing to something you don't fully understand. You don't know what you don't know.
That's what happened with my Dodge Coronet. I knew how to follow the instructions for replacing a carburetor. I didn't know enough about cars to recognize everything that could go wrong while I was doing it. Divorce can work the same way.
Do You Need a Lawyer for an Uncontested Divorce?
Even if you and your spouse agree on everything, it can still be worthwhile to have an attorney review the agreement before you sign it. An uncontested divorce means you're not asking a judge to resolve disputes between you. It doesn't necessarily mean the financial or legal decisions you're making are simple.
You might agree completely with your spouse and still misunderstand what a provision means or overlook an issue that won't become apparent until years later. You may not need an attorney to fight a lengthy court battle. You may simply need one to make sure you understand the deal you're making.
Don't Make the Decision Based Only on Cost
I understand why people consider handling a divorce themselves. Lawyers cost money. But the better question isn't simply, "How much will a lawyer cost me?" It's also, "What could it cost me if I make a mistake?"
If there isn't much at stake and you and your spouse truly agree about everything, that calculation may lead you in one direction. If your house, retirement, income, business, or relationship with your children is at stake, it may lead you somewhere very different.
You don't necessarily need the most expensive divorce lawyer you can find. You do need to understand the complexity of your case and the consequences of the decisions you're making.
If you're trying to understand the New Jersey divorce process before deciding what kind of legal help you need, my free Divorce Smarter Course will walk you through the major issues and decisions you'll encounter along the way.
Until next time,
Steve