New Jersey recognizes nine legal grounds for divorce.
Eight are generally considered fault-based grounds. The ninth, irreconcilable differences, allows a couple to divorce without placing legal blame on either spouse.
Most people today choose irreconcilable differences.
But why?
And could one of the other grounds be better for your case?
1. Irreconcilable Differences
Irreconcilable differences is the ground used in most New Jersey divorces today.
To qualify, the parties must have experienced irreconcilable differences for at least six months. Those differences must have caused the marriage to break down, with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.
You do not need to describe every argument or prove that your spouse did something wrong.
This ground became available in New Jersey in 2007. Since then, it has largely replaced extreme cruelty as the standard ground for divorce.
2. Extreme Cruelty
Extreme cruelty includes physical or mental cruelty that endangers a spouse’s safety or health or makes it unreasonable to expect that spouse to continue living with the other.
Before irreconcilable differences became available, extreme cruelty was commonly used as the default ground for divorce.
As a result, divorce complaints often included lists of grievances that were technically intended to establish cruelty but did little more than anger the other spouse.
Some claims involved genuinely serious behavior. Others described ordinary marital arguments and disappointments.
The ground still exists, but alleging extreme cruelty may increase hostility before negotiations have even begun.
3. Eighteen Months of Separation
A divorce may be granted when spouses have lived in separate homes for at least 18 consecutive months and there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.
After 18 months of separation, the law creates a presumption that the marriage cannot be repaired.
This ground is used less frequently now because irreconcilable differences generally does not require spouses to live apart before filing.
4. Adultery
Adultery remains a legal ground for divorce in New Jersey.
The person filing must provide enough information to support the allegation. Depending on what is known, the divorce papers may also need to identify the person with whom the spouse allegedly committed adultery.
That can make the complaint more personal and contentious.
Many people are surprised to learn that adultery usually does not determine alimony, property division, custody, or parenting time by itself.
An affair may matter when it has a direct financial effect on the marriage or affects the children’s welfare. But adultery is not normally used simply to punish an unfaithful spouse.
5. Willful and Continued Desertion
Desertion may be used when one spouse willfully and continuously deserts the other for at least 12 months.
The statute also recognizes a form of desertion based on spouses ceasing to live together as a married couple for the required period, even if they remain under the same roof.
In 38 years of handling New Jersey divorce cases, I have rarely seen this ground used.
6. Voluntarily Induced Addiction
A spouse may seek a divorce when the other spouse voluntarily develops a narcotic-drug addiction or habitual drunkenness for at least 12 consecutive months after the marriage and before the divorce complaint is filed.
Substance abuse may also affect custody and parenting time if it creates a genuine concern about a child’s safety or a parent’s ability to provide stable care.
7. Institutionalization for Mental Illness
This ground may apply when a spouse has been institutionalized for mental illness for at least 24 consecutive months after the marriage and before the divorce is filed.
It is another ground that is rarely used in modern New Jersey divorce cases.
8. Imprisonment
A divorce may be based on one spouse being imprisoned for at least 18 consecutive months after the marriage.
If the divorce is not filed until after that spouse is released, the parties must not have resumed living together as spouses.
9. Deviant Sexual Conduct
A spouse may seek a divorce when the other spouse has voluntarily engaged in deviant sexual conduct without the filing spouse’s consent.
Because of the sensitive nature of this ground, anyone considering it should discuss the facts privately with an experienced divorce attorney before including the allegation in a public court filing.
Is a Fault-Based Divorce Better for You?
Sometimes a person wants to file on a fault ground because it feels important to make the court understand what happened.
I understand that.
But the ground used to start the divorce does not usually control the final result.
New Jersey courts generally decide alimony, property division, custody, and parenting time under their own legal standards. The judge does not ordinarily award someone more property or better custody terms simply because the other spouse was blamed for the marriage ending.
There are exceptions when the conduct directly affects finances, children, safety, or another issue the court must decide.
But filing on a fault ground solely for emotional satisfaction may make the divorce more hostile and expensive without producing a better result.
Why Most People Choose Irreconcilable Differences
Most divorcing spouses choose irreconcilable differences because it is usually simpler, less inflammatory, and easier to establish.
You can still raise important conduct later if it is relevant to:
- Child safety
- Domestic violence
- Hidden or wasted assets
- Substance abuse
- Financial misconduct
- A spouse’s ability to parent
- Another contested issue
Choosing a no-fault ground does not prevent your lawyer from presenting facts that actually matter.
It simply avoids beginning the case by unnecessarily kicking the sleeping bear.
The Bottom Line
There is no universally “best” ground for divorce.
The right choice depends on your circumstances, what you can prove, and whether the alleged conduct will have a meaningful effect on the issues in your case.
For most people, irreconcilable differences is the most practical option.
Before choosing a fault-based ground, ask a more important question:
Will this help me achieve a better legal result, or will it only make my divorce more difficult?
Continue Your Divorce Education
I’ve specialized in New Jersey divorce law for 38 years and have been involved in more than 5,000 divorce cases.
I created my free Divorce Smarter Course to help you understand your rights before making important decisions.
You will learn about:
- Custody and parenting time
- Alimony and child support
- Property and financial protection
- Negotiation and mediation
- Mistakes to avoid before filing
The information is provided in plain English, one short email at a time.
Learn how the New Jersey divorce process works before you make your next move.
Steve