How much does a divorce cost in New Jersey?
I'm going to tell you. But first, you need to understand why it's so difficult for any divorce lawyer to give you an honest answer to that question before your case begins.
Because if you're concerned about the cost of your divorce, the number isn't the most important thing I can teach you. Understanding what makes that number go up or down is.
Why Is the Cost of Divorce So Hard to Predict?
Divorce lawyers generally bill for the amount of time they spend working on your case. So the ultimate cost depends upon how much attorney time your divorce requires.
A relatively straightforward case involving two people who exchange their financial information, negotiate reasonably, reach an agreement, and avoid unnecessary court applications may cost considerably less than a case involving repeated motions, extensive discovery, business valuations, custody disputes, experts, or a trial.
But there's another variable that's much harder to predict: The people getting divorced.
Let me tell you a story.
The $4,000 Thanksgiving
I started practicing New Jersey divorce law in September 1987. One of my early clients was a woman I'll call "Barbara."
At the time, my initial divorce retainer was $4,000 and I billed $100 an hour. Needless to say, both numbers have changed considerably since 1987.
During our first consultation, Barbara asked me: "How much do you think my divorce is going to cost?" I told her I couldn't know. A lot would depend upon how much she and her husband fought, how complicated the issues became, whether the attorneys were able to work together, and how much time I ultimately had to spend on her case. Barbara hired me.
About six weeks later, she called. She wanted their four-year-old son, Michael, for Thanksgiving. Her husband could have him for the first day of Hanukkah, and the following year they would switch. That sounded reasonable.
I called her husband's lawyer. He thought it sounded reasonable too. He said he'd speak with his client. The next day he called me back.
His client had a different idea. He wanted Michael for Thanksgiving that year. Barbara could have the first day of Hanukkah. Then they could switch the following year.
Same arrangement. Different year. I called Barbara and explained her husband's proposal. She was furious. "Oh, no. That's not going to happen. I insist upon having Thanksgiving this year."
I reminded her of the conversation we'd had when she hired me. "Remember when you asked me how much your divorce was going to cost? This is what I was talking about."
The lawyers weren't fighting. The issue wasn't particularly complicated. The disagreement came down to which parent would get Thanksgiving first.
I asked Barbara whether it was really worth going to court over. She said yes. So I did what my client instructed me to do.
I prepared the court papers. Barbara made revisions. The other attorney responded. We went to court. I argued that Barbara should have Thanksgiving. Her husband's attorney argued that his client should have Thanksgiving.
Barbara won. She got Thanksgiving that year.
She also used up her entire $4,000 initial retainer fighting about it and needed to replenish her retainer so we could continue working on the rest of her divorce.
That's why I remember that case almost 40 years later.
So How Much Does a New Jersey Divorce Actually Cost?
The honest answer is: It depends enormously upon the case.
If you have a short marriage, no children, few assets or debts, complete financial transparency, and two people who already agree on virtually everything, your legal fees may be relatively limited.
Now add a house. Retirement accounts. Alimony. Children. A business. Stock options. A custody dispute. Hidden assets. Experts. Discovery disputes. Court motions. A spouse who refuses to negotiate. A trial. The cost can increase dramatically.
I've seen divorces that cost relatively little. I've seen divorces where each spouse spent tens of thousands of dollars. And complicated, heavily litigated cases can cost substantially more than that.
That's why I would be skeptical of anyone who promises you exactly what your divorce will cost before understanding your case and seeing how it develops.
What Does It Cost Just to File for Divorce?
The court filing fee is only a small part of the potential cost.
New Jersey currently charges $300 to file a divorce complaint. In cases involving children, an additional parent-education registration fee may also apply.But those aren't usually the expenses people are worried about when they ask me what divorce costs.
The larger expense is generally professional time.That may include your attorney and, depending upon your case, accountants, appraisers, custody professionals, business valuation experts, pension experts, or other professionals.
What Makes a Divorce More Expensive?
Several things can increase the amount of professional time your case requires.
Conflict
Barbara's story is a perfect example. If every disagreement becomes a battle, your attorneys have to spend time dealing with those battles. And you're paying for that time.
Complex Finances
A divorce involving two salaries, a house, and ordinary retirement accounts is very different from one involving a privately held business, multiple properties, executive compensation, trusts, substantial investments, or questions about hidden income.
Complex assets may require more discovery and professional valuation.
Custody Disputes
Parenting disputes can become expensive very quickly, particularly when the parents disagree about major issues involving custody, parenting time, relocation, substance use, safety, or other significant concerns.
Court Motions
Every time an issue has to be presented formally to the court, attorneys have to prepare documents, review evidence, respond to the other side, and potentially appear in court.
Sometimes a motion is absolutely necessary. Sometimes it isn't. Knowing the difference matters.
Discovery Problems
Divorce requires financial disclosure. If both sides exchange the necessary information promptly, the process can move more efficiently.
If documents are missing, financial information is incomplete, assets appear to have disappeared, or one spouse refuses to cooperate, attorneys may have to spend considerably more time obtaining information.
Trial
Most divorces settle. If yours doesn't, preparing for and conducting a trial can substantially increase the cost.
How Can You Keep Your Divorce Costs Under Control?
You can't control everything your spouse does. But you can control some of what happens on your side of the case.
First, pick your battles.
That doesn't mean giving up something important simply to save legal fees. If the issue affects your children, financial future, safety, or another significant right, it may absolutely be worth fighting over. But don't spend $5,000 in legal fees fighting over something worth $1,000 simply because you're angry.
Second, stay organized.
If I ask you for financial records, gather them carefully. Keep important documents together. Know your assets, debts, income, and expenses.
Third, organize your questions.
If your attorney bills by the hour, six separate phone calls about six small questions may cost more than one organized conversation covering all six. Keep a running list.
Fourth, separate emotional issues from legal issues.
Your divorce lawyer needs to understand what's happening in your marriage, but not every painful event requires a legal response. Sometimes the most expensive thing you can do is ask your lawyer to fight every battle your spouse starts.
Don't Be Penny-Wise and Pound-Foolish
Keeping legal fees under control doesn't mean always choosing the cheapest possible option.
Suppose your spouse owns a business worth several million dollars. Avoiding the cost of a proper business valuation could potentially cost you far more than the valuation itself.
The same can be true with pensions, executive compensation, real estate, hidden income, or other significant financial issues.
The goal isn't simply to spend as little as possible. The goal is to spend your legal dollars where they actually matter.
The Question I Want You to Ask
Instead of asking only: "How much will my divorce cost?" Also ask: "What can I do to keep my divorce from becoming unnecessarily expensive?" That's a question you have considerably more control over.
You can't control whether your spouse cooperates. You can't predict every issue that will arise. And you shouldn't compromise something genuinely important simply to avoid attorney's fees.
But you can stay organized, choose your battles carefully, understand your finances, communicate efficiently with your lawyer, and keep your attention on the outcome you're actually trying to achieve.
Barbara got Thanksgiving in 1987. She also spent her entire initial retainer getting it.
I've remembered that lesson ever since.
If you're preparing for divorce and want to understand the decisions that can affect your case before you start making them, my free Divorce Smarter Course will walk you through the major issues involved in a New Jersey divorce.
Until next time,
Steve