Is there anything you can do before your court appearance to help yourself get the best result possible?
Absolutely.
Going to Family Court can be an anxiety-producing experience. There is uncertainty, most people have a lot on the line, and the decisions being made may affect their children, finances, and future. That combination can produce anxiety in even the calmest person.
While you can't control everything that happens in court, you can control how prepared you are. I suggest paying attention to these five areas before your appearance in New Jersey Family Court.
1. Get Enough Sleep the Night Before Court
This sounds simple, but it matters. You need to be able to listen carefully, think clearly, answer questions, and make decisions. Showing up exhausted isn't going to help you do any of those things.
Think about it the same way you would prepare for an important exam. Do the work ahead of time rather than leaving everything until the night before. Try to have your questions answered and important issues discussed with your divorce lawyer in advance so that you're not lying awake the night before court wondering what is going to happen.
You may still be nervous. That's normal. But being prepared and well-rested gives you one less thing to worry about.
2. Dress Respectfully and Appropriately
How you should dress for court is something you should discuss with your particular attorney. My general view is that people should dress respectfully without dressing so differently from their normal appearance that they look uncomfortable or artificial.
If I'm representing a corporate executive who normally wears a suit and tie to work, I may recommend that he dress similarly in court. If I'm representing a homebuilder who normally wears jeans and work boots, I might recommend something a little more polished while still looking like himself.
You don't need to become someone else when you walk into a courtroom. You simply want to look neat, appropriate, and respectful of the Court.
3. Meet With Your Lawyer Beforehand
Family Court cases are dynamic, not static. People are emotional, circumstances change, and new issues can arise quickly during a divorce.
That means your lawyer needs to know what is happening now, not what was happening three weeks ago.
Make sure your attorney knows about significant changes before your court appearance. If something has changed involving your children, finances, living situation, communications with your spouse, or another important part of your case, your lawyer needs to know.
The last thing you want is your attorney standing in court making an argument based upon facts that are no longer accurate.
4. Be On Time
Being on time shows respect for the judge, the Court, your lawyer, and everyone else involved in your case. It also helps you arrive composed rather than rushing through the courthouse doors already stressed.
Give yourself more time than you think you need. Account for traffic, parking, courthouse security, and finding the correct courtroom. If your attorney tells you to arrive at a particular time, be there.
It's simple, but it speaks well of you.
5. Be Polite
Divorce Court can bring out strong emotions. You may be angry with your spouse. You may strongly disagree with your spouse's attorney. You may hear something in court that you believe is completely untrue.
That doesn't mean you should react.
Be polite. Don't interrupt. Don't make faces or comments while someone else is speaking. Don't get into an argument with your spouse in the hallway. And don't treat opposing counsel with hostility simply because that lawyer is advocating for your spouse.
Your behavior in and around the courtroom can matter. You want to appear calm, reasonable, and capable of handling a difficult situation appropriately.
Preparation for NJ Family Court Matters
You can't control what your spouse will do, what their lawyer will argue, or what decision the judge will ultimately make. You can control whether you arrive prepared, rested, on time, appropriately dressed, and ready to conduct yourself respectfully.
Those things may sound basic, but when you're dealing with the stress of a New Jersey divorce or Family Court case, the basics matter.
If you're preparing for divorce and want to better understand what lies ahead, my free Divorce Smarter Course walks you through important issues you should understand so you can make better decisions about your children, your finances, and your future.
Until next time,
Steve