That’s it.
You’re done. You can’t take it anymore. The marriage is over, but for one reason or another, you’re not sure you’re ready for a full divorce.
So you start looking into legal separation.
Here’s the problem:
New Jersey doesn’t really have “legal separation” the way many other states do.
We do things a little differently here.
In New Jersey, you generally have four options:
- An informal separation.
- A written Separation Agreement or Marital Settlement Agreement.
- A Divorce from Bed and Board, which is probably the closest thing New Jersey has to a traditional legal separation.
- A regular divorce.
So, What Is a Divorce from Bed and Board?
I sometimes describe a Divorce from Bed and Board as a “99% divorce.”
Why?
Because virtually everything that would normally be resolved in a divorce can still be resolved.
That can include:
- Alimony
- Child support
- Custody and parenting time
- The marital home
- Bank and investment accounts
- Retirement accounts
- Credit card and other debts
- Other marital property and financial obligations
At the end of the process, these issues can be incorporated into a formal Judgment of Divorce from Bed and Board entered by a New Jersey Superior Court Judge.
There is, however, one very important difference:
You’re still legally married.
You cannot marry someone else unless and until the Divorce from Bed and Board is converted into an absolute divorce.
Do You Actually Need One?
Probably not.
Divorce from Bed and Board exists in New Jersey, but in my experience, it isn't the right choice for most people.
If you're separating, there are much more important questions to answer first.
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Where are you going to live?
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Who is paying which bills?
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How will you handle your joint accounts and credit cards?
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What happens with the children?
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What should parenting time look like?
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How do you protect your income, property, and other assets while everything is being sorted out?
Those are the questions I want you thinking about right now.
Not whether New Jersey technically calls your situation a “legal separation.”
Why Would Someone Choose a Divorce from Bed and Board?
There are a few situations where it may make sense.
Health Insurance
Historically, one reason some couples have considered Divorce from Bed and Board is the possibility of maintaining certain health insurance coverage because the parties remain legally married.
But do not assume your coverage will continue. Health insurance plans and policies differ, and you should confirm exactly how a Divorce from Bed and Board would affect your particular coverage before relying on it.
Religious Reasons
Some people have religious or personal objections to an absolute divorce.
A Divorce from Bed and Board allows them to resolve the financial and family issues between them while remaining legally married.
The Possibility of Reconciliation
Sometimes spouses know they cannot continue living as they have been, but they aren't completely ready to permanently end the marriage.
Divorce from Bed and Board can provide legal and financial structure while the parties remain married.
There's Another Catch
A Divorce from Bed and Board generally requires both spouses to agree to it.
You cannot simply force your spouse into this arrangement because it's what you want.
That's another reason I don't recommend becoming overly focused on this option before you understand the bigger picture.
What Should You Be Thinking About Instead?
If your marriage is ending, don't get hung up on terminology.
Think about separation and divorce strategy.
Think about what happens to your money.
Think about your children.
Think about your house, retirement accounts, investments, debts, and other assets.
Think about what you should and shouldn't do before you move out, move money, sign something, or make another major decision.
And most importantly, learn how divorce actually works in New Jersey before you start making moves that may be difficult to undo later.
Start by Learning Your Options
I've specialized in New Jersey divorce law for 38 years.
I've seen people make very good decisions at the beginning of a divorce, and I've seen people make mistakes because they acted before they understood what those decisions could mean later.
That's why I created my free DIVORCE SMARTER course.
It explains New Jersey divorce in plain English, with practical information about how the process actually works and what you should be thinking about before making major decisions.
Every divorce is different.
The right strategy depends on your marriage, your finances, your children, your goals, and the particular facts of your situation.
So forget about spending hours Googling “legal separation in New Jersey.”
Start by learning what your real options are.
If you'd rather discuss your particular situation with me, call my assistant, Valerie, at (732) 845-9010 to schedule a private consultation.
Until next time,
Steve
