Divorce is hard enough.
Divorcing a spouse with substance abuse issues is something else entirely.
The old saying is "alcoholism is a disease of denial".
It means that alcoholics (and drug addicts) are rarely capable of recognizing that they have a serious problem.
You may hear:
“I don’t have a problem, YOU do.”
“She’s exaggerating.”
“He’s just trying to get custody.”
This is where professional help matters:
• A highly trained substance abuse expert can be appointed by the Judge to evaluate your spouse
• Counselors or support groups can help you stay stable.
• A judge can order temporary safeguards, such as supervised visitation, to protect your kids during parenting time with your spouse until the issue has been resolved.
• Court-ordered substance abuse testing is available.
Clients come to me every week worried about the same things:
“Are my kids safe around my spouse?”
“How will the Court see his drinking?”
“What if I can’t prove what’s been happening?”
“What happens to custody?”
These fears are real.
And they are justified.
When alcohol or drugs are involved, divorce becomes about safety and stability.
In New Jersey, judges must consider:
• Whether a parent can provide a stable environment
• How alcohol or drugs affect judgment and childcare
• Whether the children have ever been put at risk
• The pattern, frequency, and severity of the problem
• Whether the substance abuse is denied or minimized
• What safety measures may be required
If your spouse abuses substances, how to protect the children's safety during custody and parenting time almost always becomes the core issue.
When alcohol or drugs is a factor, your best friend is evidence.
Judges cannot simply “sense” who is telling the truth.
They rely on what you can show:
• Missed or forgotten pickups
• Erratic behavior
• Unsafe driving
• Verbal or physical aggression
• Police involvement
• Photos, texts, timestamps
• Statements from neutral parties
• Impact on the children
You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need a dramatic event.
You need a clear, consistent record.
That’s what helps the Court see the truth.
I have
I understand what instability looks like.
I understand denial and manipulation.
I understand how judges in New Jersey evaluate these cases.
The strategy, documentation, and timing you choose now will shape your case for years.
I get it.
And I am here to help.
If alcohol or drugs are impacting your marriage and you’re considering divorce, you are welcome to join my free DIVORCE SMARTER course and learn how to protect your children, your finances, and yourself.
Or, if you need serious help quickly:
Call my assistant, Valerie, at (732) 845-9010
— and she’ll schedule a time for us to talk.
Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing In Divorce
Throughout New Jersey
5 Professional Circle
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
(732) 845-9010
www.KaplanDivorce.com