Divorce is hard enough.
Divorcing a spouse who abuses alcohol is something else entirely.
Alcohol turns simple disagreements into chaos.
It affects safety, parenting, money, and the emotional climate of the entire home.
Clients come to me every week worried about the same things:
“Are my kids safe around my spouse?”
“How will the court see his drinking?”
“What if I can’t prove what’s been happening?”
“What happens to custody?”
These fears are real.
And they are justified.
How alcohol abuse affects divorce in New Jersey
When alcohol is involved, divorce stops being a simple legal process.
It becomes a safety and stability case.
In New Jersey, judges must consider:
• Whether a parent can provide a stable environment
• How alcohol affects judgment and childcare
• Whether the children have ever been put at risk
• The pattern, frequency, and severity of drinking
• Whether the alcohol abuse is denied or minimized
• What safety measures may be required
If your spouse abuses alcohol, how to protect the children's safety during custody and parenting time almost always becomes the core issue.
Your documentation will matter more than you think
When alcohol is a factor, your best friend is evidence.
Judges cannot simply “sense” who is telling the truth.
They rely on what you can show:
• Missed or forgotten pickups
• Erratic behavior
• Unsafe driving
• Verbal or physical aggression
• Police involvement
• Photos, texts, timestamps
• Statements from neutral parties
• Impact on the children
You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need a dramatic event.
You need a clear, consistent record.
That’s what helps the court see the truth.
How to protect yourself when your spouse denies the problem
The old saying is "alcoholism is a disease of denial".
It means that alcoholics rarely admit the truth during divorce.
You may hear:
“I don’t have a problem — YOU do.”
“She’s exaggerating.”
“He’s just trying to get custody.”
This is where professional help matters:
• A forensic psychologist can evaluate both parents
• Counselors or support groups help you stay stable
• Temporary safeguards can protect parenting time
• Court-ordered testing is available
I’ve handled these cases for 37 years in New Jersey
I have 
represented countless clients whose spouses struggled with alcohol abuse — husbands and wives, payors and recipients, primary parents and secondary parents.
I understand what instability looks like.
I understand denial and manipulation.
I understand how judges in New Jersey evaluate these cases.
No lawyer can guarantee results.
But the strategy, documentation, and timing you choose now will shape your case for years.
I get it.
And I am here to help.
The Next Step
If alcohol is impacting your marriage and you’re considering divorce, you are welcome to:
Join my free NJ Divorce Course and learn how to protect your children, your finances, and yourself.
Or, if you need serious help quickly:
Call my assistant, Valerie, at (732) 845-9010
— and she’ll schedule a time for us to talk.
There are no guarantees in court.
But there is clarity, preparation, and strategy.
And sometimes, that changes everything.
Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing In Divorce
Throughout New Jersey
5 Professional Circle
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
(732) 845-9010
www.KaplanDivorce.com
