The worst thing somebody can do in Divorce Court is lie or be deceitful.
It can damage your credibility with the judge, make an already difficult case much worse, and sometimes create consequences that follow you throughout the rest of your divorce.
I learned that lesson very clearly in a case I handled many years ago.
"Your Husband Was the Guy Who Did This to Me!"
My wife was in a supermarket checkout line one day and overheard a conversation between the man in front of her and the cashier, who apparently knew each other.
The man was telling the cashier how he "got screwed" in his divorce many years earlier. According to him, his wife got the house, the Mercedes, a $250,000 judgment against him, the kids, child support, and lifetime alimony. He was left with his truck and both of their legal bills.
My wife felt sorry for him. She interrupted and offered to have him speak with me to see whether my office might be able to help him.
The man started laughing.
"Your husband was the guy who did this to me!"
I remembered the case.
What Really Happened
His wife had come to me explaining that her husband had inherited his family's business. Their marriage was having serious problems, and according to my client, her husband was threatening to sell the business for far less than its market value so that she wouldn't receive her share if she filed for divorce.
After my client filed for divorce, she obtained a court order prohibiting her husband from selling the business.
So what did he do?
He gave the business away to a relative in exchange for that relative taking on certain business debts.
We then spent the next three years fighting over what he had done and why his wife's financial interests should not be diminished because of his actions.
Ultimately, the judge's decisions didn't come out of nowhere. They were made in the context of what had happened during the case.
Yet all those years later, this man still believed that he was the one who had been wronged.
Your Credibility in Divorce Court Matters
This story illustrates something I've seen many times throughout my career as a New Jersey divorce lawyer: people don't always recognize the role their own actions played in the outcome of their case.
Some people will hide assets, give property away, misrepresent their finances, ignore court orders, or lie about what happened. Then, when those actions hurt them in court, they believe the system treated them unfairly.
But judges pay attention to credibility.
If a judge catches you being dishonest about one important issue, why should the judge automatically believe you about the next one?
That's a problem you don't want to create for yourself.
Don't Try to Outsmart the Court
Being told by your spouse that a divorce is coming can be painful. You may be angry, frightened, or worried about what will happen to your children, your home, your business, or your money.
But reacting vindictively can make a bad situation considerably worse.
Don't hide money. Don't give away assets because you think it will prevent your spouse from receiving them. Don't ignore court orders. And don't lie to your lawyer or the judge because you think it will give you an advantage.
If you're concerned about protecting a business, property, investments, or other assets during a New Jersey divorce, talk to your lawyer about what you can legally do to protect yourself.
There is a big difference between protecting your interests and trying to deceive the Court.
The Best Advice Is Usually the Simplest
Tell your lawyer the truth.
Tell the Court the truth.
Follow court orders.
And don't make decisions out of anger that your divorce lawyer may have to spend the next three years trying to fix.
If you're preparing for divorce and want to understand how to protect yourself without making costly mistakes, my free Divorce Smarter Course explains important issues you should know before and during a New Jersey divorce.
Until next time,
Steve