I've had clients bring me Facebook posts, Instagram photos, screenshots, and other social media activity from their spouses.
Sometimes it's useless. Sometimes it's very useful.
If you're going through a New Jersey divorce, here's the rule I want you to remember:
Assume that anything you post online could eventually be seen by your spouse, your spouse's lawyer, and possibly a Family Court judge.
Your Social Media Can Become Evidence
Let's say a parent has been ordered not to drink alcohol during parenting time. That parent insists in court that he isn't drinking and is completely complying with the order.
Then the other parent finds a recent social media photo showing him holding a beer while his child is sitting next to him.
That's potentially a problem.
The photo alone may not tell the entire story, and any evidence still has to be properly evaluated and, when necessary, authenticated. But you've now created something that the other side may try to use against you.
And it could have been completely avoided.
It's Not Just About Custody
Social media can create problems in financial disputes too.
Maybe you're arguing that you can't afford a particular expense while posting pictures from an expensive vacation. Maybe you claim you're unemployed but your LinkedIn profile says you've started a new job. Maybe you're arguing that you're a responsible parent while repeatedly posting things that suggest otherwise.
Again, a social media post doesn't automatically prove something simply because it exists. Context matters.
But why create the problem in the first place?
Think Before You Post
You don't necessarily need to disappear from the internet because you're getting divorced. But you should be much more careful about what you share.
Don't post about your divorce. Don't attack your spouse online. Don't discuss your lawyer, the judge, custody evaluations, settlement negotiations, or what happened in court. And don't assume something is private simply because you've changed your privacy settings.
Also, don't delete potentially relevant posts or messages simply because your divorce has started. If you're concerned about something already on your social media, talk to your attorney before removing or changing it.
The Simplest Rule
Before you post anything during your divorce, ask yourself one question: "Would I be comfortable with the judge seeing this?"
If the answer is no, don't post it.
Your divorce already gives you enough things to worry about. Don't let a Facebook post, Instagram story, or TikTok video create another one.
If you're preparing for divorce and want to understand the mistakes to avoid, my free Divorce Smarter Course can help you prepare for the New Jersey divorce process.
Until next time,
Steve