I read an interesting article on the effect that divorce can have upon children.
Titled "Children in Divorce Proceedings Need Support With Mental Health Issues," it was the subtitle that really got to me:
"All too often children are caught in the middle of adult disputes, with children forced into the position of playing inappropriate roles – those of spy, messenger, judge or witness."
Spy?
Messenger?
Judge?
Witness?
No child should ever be called upon to spy for one parent on the other parent, and no child should ever be relied upon as a messenger between her parents.
Judge? Yes it is true… Sometimes battling parents will place a child in the role of "judge." "Ask Mary… she'll tell you the truth!"
Witness? "Wait till the trial. John will tell the judge what my husband said about my mother!"
The author stated:
"Children's long-term emotional and mental health can be put at risk through enduring family or parental conflict, sometimes with long-term, detrimental effects."
I sometimes see a parent engaging in some type of a passive-aggressive court strategy involving a child, with the parent saying how he or she is looking out for the child's best interests, but the method for supposedly "looking out the child's best interest" involves either using the child as a spy, a messenger, a judge, or a witness.
Parents going through divorce need to stop this nonsense.
In my view, it is that simple.
Using your child as a spy, or a messenger, or a judge, or a witness is, plain and simply put, a form of child abuse.
If you're doing it, you should knock it off.
And if your spouse is doing it, there are things that can be done to force him or her to stop. Speak with your lawyer about this.
THERE'S A LOT MORE FREE HELP WHERE THIS ARTICLE CAME FROM
If you are considering separating or filing for divorce, the most important thing for you to do before doing anything else is to learn how to protect yourself, your children, and your assets.
I'll show you how you can do it.
I've specialized in NJ divorce law for 37 years.
I "get it" and I'm here to help.
STEVE KAPLAN'S DIVORCE COURSE will teach you how to turn your situation around to your advantage.
Every divorce case is different.
My emails will teach you, in an easy to understand way, everything that you need to know to help you make the right decisions based upon the particular facts of your situation.
I get emails from 
strangers all the time thanking me for making this information available to them online at no cost, and I'm pretty certain that you, too, will get a lot of value from my emails.
And if you want to stop the emails, I made it really easy for you to do that... one click on any email stops the course.
But few people do that...because the material is really helpful to anyone who is even just beginning to think about getting a divorce here in N.J.
SO HERE'S THE LINK.
Are you ready to start turning things around?
The next move is up to you...!
Click the link above and begin learning how to get the "edge" in YOUR N.J. divorce case.
Until next time,
Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing In Divorce
Throughout New Jersey
5 Professional Circle
Colts Neck, NJ. 07722