If your marriage is over, you may be wondering whether you have to prove that your spouse did something wrong before you can get divorced. In New Jersey, the answer is usually no.
New Jersey allows you to file for divorce based on irreconcilable differences, commonly referred to as a no-fault divorce. That means you don't have to prove adultery, extreme cruelty, or other marital misconduct simply to end your marriage.
What Are Irreconcilable Differences in NJ?
Irreconcilable differences essentially means that problems have caused the breakdown of your marriage and there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation. Under New Jersey law, the irreconcilable differences must have existed for at least six months.
You don't have to prove that your spouse caused them. You also don't need your spouse to agree that getting divorced is a good idea.
Do You Have to Be Separated Before Filing?
This is something people frequently misunderstand. You do not have to live in separate homes for six months before filing for divorce based on irreconcilable differences.
The six-month requirement relates to the existence of the irreconcilable differences, not how long you've physically lived apart. New Jersey does have a separate ground for divorce based on 18 months of separation, but most people don't need to wait 18 months simply to end their marriage.
Does No-Fault Mean an Easy Divorce?
Not necessarily. No-fault describes the grounds for ending the marriage. It doesn't mean the rest of the divorce will be uncontested.
You may still have significant disagreements involving:
- Child custody and parenting time
- Alimony
- Child support
- Your home
- Retirement accounts
- Business interests
- Other marital property and debts
Those issues still need to be resolved.
Does Bad Behavior Matter?
Sometimes. Filing based on irreconcilable differences doesn't mean everything your spouse has done suddenly becomes irrelevant. For example, domestic violence, behavior affecting your children, hiding or wasting marital assets, or other serious conduct may be relevant to specific issues in your divorce.
But you generally don't need to turn every marital grievance into a battle over why the marriage ended. That's one reason I usually prefer irreconcilable differences when the circumstances allow it.
How Do You Start a No-Fault Divorce in NJ?
One spouse files a Complaint for Divorce and identifies irreconcilable differences as the grounds for divorce. From there, the case moves into the larger divorce process.
Depending on your circumstances, you'll need to address financial information, property division, support, custody, parenting time, and other issues. If you and your spouse reach an agreement, those terms can be incorporated into your final divorce.
If you can't agree, the unresolved issues may ultimately need to be decided by the court.
You Don't Need to Prove Your Spouse Was the "Bad Guy"
This is the part I want you to remember. If your marriage is over, you usually don't need to spend your divorce proving every reason it failed. You need to focus on what happens next.
Your children. Your finances. Your property. Your future.
Understanding that distinction can save you from fighting battles that don't help you get a better result.
I created my free Divorce Smarter Course to help you understand the New Jersey divorce process and make better decisions before you separate, file, or negotiate a settlement.
Until next time,
Steve