It surprises me how many people choose to come to a divorce lawyer without first trying to save their marriage through the use of a qualified marriage counselor.In one memorable episode of the show Seinfeld, Jerry said:
"Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over."
I have found that analogy to be true in many of the hundreds of New Jersey divorce cases that I have handled as a New Jersey divorce lawyer over the past 27 years.
Very often a client retains me six months or more after I first met the client. I always raise the issue of the possibility of marriage counseling helping a client save his remarriage during the first consultation.
Marriage counseling can help when the Coke machine is first being pushed, so to speak. It can help balance things out. It helps people get out what they need to get out to each other.
It also helps people take a hard look in the mirror to often realize that they have some responsibility for a particular problem or situation, and that it really is not always the other person's fault.
It can stop the Coke machine from getting knocked over, or it can finish off the job of knocking it over, depending upon how well counseling works for that particular couple.
If you feel like your marriage is being pushed over like Jerry Seinfeld's Coke machine, and if you want to try to save your marriage, you might want to try marriage counseling. Often counseling is the only thing that you can do to stop the "Coke machine" (i.e., your marriage) from getting knocked over.
Which might just explain that old Coke advertising jingle: "I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony…"