There are many laws that affect divorcing couples in New Jersey.
But after 37 years as a divorce lawyer here, I can tell you this: three laws come up in nearly every case.
They affect the house you live in, the time you spend with your kids, and the money in your pocket after the divorce is final.
Get familiar with these three laws now; it can help you avoid a lifetime of regret.
Stacy's Story: Millstone, NJ
Stacy had been married for 21 years.
She raised three children, worked part-time, and ran the household while her husband built a successful business.
When he filed for divorce, she was shocked to hear him say that she "wasn't entitled to much" because the house was in his name and she never earned more than $40,000 a year.
She came to me feeling defeated.
She assumed she’d lose the house, see her kids less, and get little to no support.
But here’s what I told her:
The law protects her.
Not perfectly.
Not automatically.
But clearly, and more than she realized.
She signed up for my free Divorce Course that same day.
Four months later, with the right guidance, Stacy negotiated a fair custody schedule, a meaningful support agreement, and enough financial security to move forward with confidence.
Here’s what helped her most:
She understood how these three laws work.
Now let’s make sure you do, too.
1. Equitable Distribution of Property
New Jersey is an equitable distribution state.
That doesn’t mean a 50/50 split.
It means a fair split.
And fair doesn’t always mean equal.
The court looks at:
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Length of the marriage
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Age and health of each spouse
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Income and property brought into the marriage
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Contributions to the marriage (money, homemaking, parenting)
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Standard of living
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Economic circumstances now
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And 7 other factors
But here’s the big takeaway:
The law presumes both spouses contributed.
Even if one person stayed home or earned much less, the court usually assumes they played an important role, and should share in the outcome.
That’s why, in reality, property division is often close to equal… even when one person did all the earning.
2. Child Custody
There are two types of custody in New Jersey:
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Legal Custody – Who makes big decisions about the child’s life
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Physical Custody – How much time each parent spends with the child
The law encourages both parents to be involved.
Judges look at things like:
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How well the parents communicate
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The relationship each parent has with the child
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Each home environment
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Any history of violence or instability
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The needs and safety of the child
Here’s what I’ve seen lately:
In many cases (especially where both parents are stable and involved) judges are leaning toward 50/50 physical custody and shared legal custody.
You can push for something different.
It’s just hard to do without a compelling reason.
3. Alimony
New Jersey law lists 14 different factors that judges must consider, including:
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Length of the marriage
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Income and earning capacity
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Age, health, and lifestyle
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Financial and non-financial contributions
For marriages under 20 years, alimony usually can’t last longer than the marriage itself—unless there are unusual circumstances.
What happens in the real world?
Most alimony cases get negotiated.
Mediators often recommend this formula:
25% of the difference in income for a set number of years.
That’s not in the statute.
But it’s becoming very common because it’s simple, and it feels fair to many.
The Real-World Takeaway
The law is complex.
But what actually happens in court often comes down to this:
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Property gets divided roughly equally
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Custody gets split 50/50 more often than not
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Alimony is negotiated using simple math
That’s not always how it goes.
But it’s what I’ve seen happen again and again.
If you're heading into divorce, you need to know both the law and the reality.
Want to learn more?
If this article helped you, then let me help you take the next step.
Sign up for my free NJ Divorce Course.
You’ll instantly get my article, “Steve Kaplan’s Guide to Divorce in New Jersey,” which walks you through the entire divorce process in plain English—in under 10 minutes.
Then each day, I’ll send you one short, practical article to help you:
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Avoid costly mistakes
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Make better decisions
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And feel more confident moving forward
It takes less than 10 seconds to join.
No cost. No commitment. Just real help.
You’ll be glad you did.
—
Steve Kaplan, Esq.
Divorce Lawyer – Monmouth County, NJ
www.KaplanDivorce.com | (732) 845-9010