After 37 years as a New Jersey divorce lawyer, I can tell you this with certainty:
Most people walk into divorce court worried about everything.
But in reality, three areas of laws decide almost everything:
• The kids;
• The property; and
• The money.
If you understand these three series of laws early, you will be set to avoid fear-driven decisions, and a potential lifetime of regret.
Stacy’s story from Millstone, NJ
Stacy was married for 21 years.
She raised three children, worked part-time, and ran the household while her husband Joe built a successful business.
When Joe filed for divorce, he told her:
“The house is in my name.”
“You didn’t earn much.”
“You’re not entitled to much.”
She believed Joe. "He's never lied to me. Why would he lie to me now?" she thought.
She came to me assuming that she would lose the house, see her kids less, and struggle financially.
She joined my free NJ Divorce Course that same day.
Four months later, with the right guidance, she secured:
• A fair custody schedule
• Meaningful financial support
• And the confidence to move forward
And it all started with understanding these three laws.
Now let’s make sure you do, too.
1. Equitable Distribution Of Property
New Jersey is an equitable distribution state.
That does not always mean 50/50.
It means fair.
Judges look at:
• Length of the marriage
• Age and health
• Income and assets
• Contributions as earner, parent, and homemaker
• Standard of living
• And many other factors
Here is the part most people miss:
The law presumes both spouses contributed.
Even if one earned the paycheck and the other ran the home, the court usually treats both as equal partners in what was built.
That is why property division often ends up close to equal.
2. Child Custody
New Jersey recognizes two types of custody:
• Legal custody – Who makes major decisions
• Physical custody – Where the children live
The law encourages both parents to stay actively involved, as long as it is safe and in the child’s best interests.
Judges look at:
• Communication between parents
• The parent-child bond
• Each home environment
• Any history of conflict, violence, or instability
• The child’s safety and needs
Today, when both parents are stable and involved, courts are leaning strongly toward:
Shared legal custody and 50/50 physical custody.
You can argue for something different.
But without a compelling reason, it is difficult.
3. Alimony
New Jersey judges must weigh multiple factors, including:
• Length of the marriage
• Income and earning capacity
• Age and health
• Lifestyle during the marriage
• Financial and non-financial contributions
For marriages under 20 years, alimony usually cannot exceed the length of the marriage, unless there are unusual circumstances.
In the real world, most alimony cases settle.
Many mediators use an informal shortcut:
25 percent of the income difference for a set number of years.
It is not the law.
But it is commonly used because it feels predictable.
The real-world takeaway
In many NJ divorces, what actually happens looks like this:
• Property is divided roughly equally
• Custody is shared close to 50/50
• Alimony is negotiated using simple math
That is not always how it goes.
But it is what I see again and again.
If you understand both the law and the reality, you make better decisions and avoid expensive mistakes.
A quiet next step
If this page helped you understand what truly drives NJ divorce outcomes, then education is your next advantage.
My free NJ Divorce Course walks you through:
• Custody
• Property
• Support
• Strategy
In plain English. One short email at a time.
There are no guarantees in court.
But there is clarity, preparation, and leverage.
And sometimes, that changes everything.
Steve
Steven J. Kaplan, Esq.
Specializing In Divorce Law
Throughout New Jersey
5 Professional Circle
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
(732) 845-9010
www.KaplanDivorce.com
