Which Of NJ's 9 Grounds for Divorce Is Best For You?

In New Jersey, there are nine grounds for divorce, each with its own specific criteria.

Most people today file for divorce based upon "irreconcilable differences."

However, there are 8 more grounds, and some people prefer to file based upon one of the other grounds.

Irreconcilable Differences

New Jersey recognizes irreconcilable differences as a ground for divorce.

If the marriage has experienced a breakdown for at least six months, with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation, divorce will be granted by a Superior Court judge on this ground.

This ground only came into existence in 2007.

Since 2007, however, it has been my experience that most lawyers file for divorce under this ground. To learn why, CLICK HERE.

Extreme Cruelty

I used to kid in the "old days" by referring to this ground as "extreme horseshit."

Prior to the existence of "Irreconcilable Differences" as a NJ divorce ground in 2007, extreme cruelty was by and large the "default ground" for the vast majority of people getting divorced.

It includes both physical and mental cruelty that endangers the safety or health of the plaintiff, making it unreasonable or improper to expect them to continue cohabiting with the defendant.

It was, (and is), frankly ridiculous.

People would allege virtually anything, and judges, understanding "the game", would grant the divorce based upon the dumbest and most ridiculous of allegations of cruelty (ie, "he spilled red wine on my white blouse at Christmas Eve dinner 1998 which caused me much humiliation and embarrassment."

Pure lunacy.

But it worked most of the time, and that's how the majority of people got their "grounds" for divorce prior to the enactment of the "irreconcilable differences" statute.

18 Months' Separation

If a husband and wife have lived separately in different habitations for at least 18 consecutive months, with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation, divorce can be granted based on separation.

After the 18-month period, a presumption of no reasonable prospect of reconciliation arises.

Adultery

Adultery is considered a ground for divorce in New Jersey.

If one spouse engages in extramarital affairs, the other spouse can file for divorce based on adultery.

Proof of the extramarital relationship is required

Although I've been involved in over 5000 divorces and have never used this ground, divorce can be sought if one spouse willfully and continuously deserts the other for a period of 12 or more months, during which they have ceased to cohabit as a married couple.

Satisfactory proof  "...that the parties have ceased to cohabit as man and wife..." is necessary to establish this ground.

This ground has apparently never been updated since the laws were updated to allow for gay marriage...(ie, "...man and wife..." is no longer the exclusive circumstance in NJ marriages.)

Divorce can be sought if one spouse has voluntarily become addicted to narcotic drugs or developed habitual drunkenness for a period of 12 or more consecutive months after marriage.

If one spouse has been institutionalized for mental illness for a period of 24 or more consecutive months after marriage, divorce can be pursued on this ground.

This is a second ground that  notwithstanding over 3-1/2 decades of practice as a NJ divorce specialist I have never personally used.

In cases where the defendant has been imprisoned for 18 or more consecutive months after marriage, divorce can be granted.

If the action is not initiated until after the defendant's release, the parties must not have resumed cohabitation following the imprisonment.

Divorce can be sought if the defendant has engaged in deviant sexual conduct without the plaintiff's consent. 

Conclusion

Divorce is hard enough.

Many people choose to use the NJ "no fault" divorce ground of "irreconcilable differences" specifically because they recognize that using one of the "fault grounds", while emotionally satisfying perhaps, can often to more harm than good.

Why?

Well, in my experience, no one wants to be blamed for their marriage's failure.

Blaming the other person for the divorce by alleging a fault ground instead of the no-fault ground irreconcilable differences can just make your divorce case harder and more expensive because you start your case by "kicking the sleeping bear" so to speak instead of gently filing based upon "irreconcilable differences".