The most effective way of dealing with a narcissistic spouse in a divorce case is to document everything.
The narcissist will lie without thinking about it. You know that because you have lived it.
But you have the ability to take photographs, keep notes, keep recordings, and keep other evidence.
So my best advice is that you should document every significant part of your life.
Then when your narcissistic spouse accuses you of things that are untrue, you can show the Judge that you are telling the truth and that your spouse is not.
It takes a lot of work, but it is always time well-spent when divorcing a narcissist.
Additionally, because your narcissistic spouse will twist and distort and lie about your comments, you want to limit your communications with this person if he/she is behaving badly, and only communicate when you have to.
During your divorce case, when you do communicate with your narcissistic spouse, I feel that communicating in writing is usually preferable to having oral communications. This is because most people can control their emotions better in writing and take their time in composing carefully worded communications to minimize the narcissist’s ability to twist their words.
Narcissists are great at putting on a “good face” for a judge.
They can be difficult to combat in Court often because they often appear believable to someone who doesn't know them well.
Like a judge.
So this is another area where your meticulous documenting of facts can help you overcome the narcissist's lying.
Let me also tell you about a client of mine, "Robert", in an effort to help you see the "big picture" of what you may encounter.
Robert knew that his wife, Nicole, was a narcissist.
Yet the good of his marriage always outweighed the bad to him, and so he just put up with her condescending comments, her lies, and her know-it-all attitude...