Today, like every other weekday morning for the past 19 years, he woke up at 5:15 AM to begin getting ready for the 55 minute Seastreak ferry commute from Atlantic Highlands into New York City.
The brokerage firm that he works for has an office nearby in Red Bank that he could work at, but he makes far more money in the city, and living in Monmouth County is not cheap.
It's a very long day, but it provides his family with a solid 6-figure income.
They live in Holmdel with their three kids.
His wife stopped working when they had their first child 15 years ago, and has been a homemaker ever since.
Life is not perfect, but he's happy enough.
He's not happy about the fact that over the past year, his wife has lost her desire to have intimate relations with him.
“Hormones”, she told him. "And you get home from work so late. I'm lonely."
He trusts his wife. They love each other dearly, he tells himself.
Yet something doesn't feel right.
“She must be bipolar, like her crazy mother", he thought to himself.
Recently he became suspicious enough to put a tracking device on his wife's car, just to make sure.
It's been on for three days now and nothing unusual has shown up, which made him feel guilty for questioning her faithfulness.
Then at 12:42 PM this afternoon, his life changed forever.
The tracking device notified his iPhone that his wife's car was in his best friend's garage.
What the hell is she doing there?
"Hi Honey!", he said into his phone, his heart pounding out of his chest, feeling the drenching sweat rolling down his hand making the iPhone slippery.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, you know, just the same old thing. Got the kids off to school, and now I'm cleaning the house. I can't wait to get out of here, but I've just been too busy today.”
She knew that he knew.
He called his best friend. The phone rang 8 times. Then voicemail.
"What ‘cha doin’, buddy? Give me a call back ASAP."
The call was not returned.
HE IS FURIOUS
"If you weren't working all of the time, you would have noticed how unhappy I've been!" she screamed at him when he stormed into the house two hours early.
"I want a divorce, you devious, cheating bitch!" he yelled at her.
"I'll give you a divorce that you'll never forget, you obsessive-compulsive workaholic! You caused this. It's not my fault. I'm going for the jugular. I'm gonna take you for everything that you've got", she blurted out.
"You won't get a damn nickel from me, and I'll take custody of the kids from you. You are an unfit parent!", he laughed nervously at her.
It's over. He has integrity. He can accept many things, but betrayal is not one of them.
"That bitch isn't getting any of my 401(k), my IRA, my pension, or any of my RSU's or stocks."
"She deserves nothing from me. Let that jackass support her."
In addition, he has decided that he's going to apply to the Court for custody. He feels that she is unfit, and the kids would rather live with him anyway. He wants a full psychological report done on her "...to prove that she is a bi-polar narcissist".
HE NEEDS HELP
He knows that he is speaking and acting irrationally, but he is having trouble being rational right now.
So he hired a good divorce lawyer to represent him in his divorce case.
The lawyer helped him understand the law, in particular, the way that our divorce court judges in Monmouth County tend to apply the law.
They explored a series of realistic settlement scenarios.
His attorney recommended several therapists and financial experts to him.
He hired a therapist and he got a first-rate financial advisor .
The therapist helped him deal with his feelings of betrayal, got him to slow down and think about what his goals are, and helped him to focus on what type of custody arrangement is in the best interest of his children.
The financial advisor helped him get a better grasp on his finances and helped him prepare his Case Information Statement to support his divorce case financial theory.
He also attended a special custody mediation program at the Court House.
Counsel for the parties exchanged multiple settlement proposals, and both parties with their attorneys present participated in mediation of the economic issues.
Ultimately, he settled the case in a way that met his needs and the needs of his children.
She was not able to "take him for all that he's got."
Not even close. It was a fair deal.
HIS LIFE GOT BACK ON TRACK
Today, he looks like a new man.
The rage from the betrayal of his ex-wife and his former best friend that at one time had consumed him is gone.
His relationship with his children has never been better.
He was surprised to find that he is not lonely. Rather, he's enjoying his freedom.
He's able to afford to do what's important to him.
"Life is good!"
ARE YOU HAVING SERIOUS MARITAL PROBLEMS?
I've been representing Monmouth County residents going through the toughest times of their lives for 32 years.
Repeated promises to stop abusing alcohol and drugs, promises that keep turning into lies.
I've got many years of professional divorce training, plus 32 years of specialized divorce legal work while simultaneously being part of a divorced family.
I am the only lawyer who practices just divorce work, exclusively in Monmouth County.
I've been down the road you are on thousands of times before, both professionally and personally, and I'd be privileged to walk it with you as your guide.
Every divorce case is unique. No two are the same. That's why you need expert guidance now.
I can help you explore your particular situation, show you all of your options, and then help you maximize the protection that is available to you here in Monmouth County.
Give me a call at (732) 845-9010 or drop me a note here.
I'd be happy to help.