I am going to tell you.

Not many, if any, divorce lawyers WILL tell you, but I am going to tell you.

At the end of this article.

Now, you can cheat, and just go to the bottom and read that part...

But that would be silly.

Because I assume that you are here reading this article to learn how to save money on legal fees.

And that is why I am writing this article: to teach you what drives up the cost of so many divorces so that I can help you avoid doing that to yourself.

If you want to save a lot of money on YOUR divorce, then you need to understand why it is so hard for this question to be answered honestly.

So...if you really want to, ok...go to the bottom and you will see how much the typical divorce in New Jersey costs, from my experience...

But then be sure to come back here to read the rest of the article, or else I fear that you will miss the most important lesson that I offer you: namely, how to keep YOUR legal fees as low as possible.

They taught me in law school back in the 1980's to not answer that question, not to be obnoxious or sneaky or anything like that, but rather because it is impossible to know how the clients will behave, and because client behavior is the #1 reason that divorce costs can skyrocket.

Why is it so difficult for even a highly experienced divorce lawyer to predict what your divorce will cost?

Why don't most divorce lawyers just give you a firm price up front like building contractors do?

Let me answer that question by way of an example that happened to me.

I started practicing exclusively NJ divorce law in September 1987.

My then employer brought one of my first clients, "Barbara" (not her real name), into my office.

At that time, my initial divorce retainer was $4,000.00 and I billed at the rate of $100.00 per hour (needless to say, both rates have gone up quite a bit over the past 37 years.)

During the consultation, Barbara asked me what I thought her divorce would cost her.

I told her that no one knows for sure because it really is a function of how much time she and her husband spend fighting.

I also told her that there are other variables that will affect her final legal bill, including whether her husband hires a cooperative lawyer or a combative lawyer, which judge we get, how complicated the issues are in her particular case, and other related factors.

Out of respect for her, I respectfully refused to guess at how much her total legal bill for her divorce would "likely" be.

Notwithstanding my refusal to estimate the total cost for her divorce, Barbara hired me.

Six weeks later, on  November 1, 1987, Barbara called me.

She said, "I'd like to have our 4-year old son, Michael, for Thanksgiving this year. My husband can have Michael for the first day of Hanukkah this year. Next year, we can switch.

Will you please call his lawyer and try to work that out?"

I told her, "Of course, Barbara. I'll call your husband's lawyer now and will discuss the issue with him. There shouldn't be any major problems."

I then called the other lawyer who agreed with me that there shouldn't be any major problems working out that arrangement.

The other lawyer told me that it made sense and that he would speak with his client and get back to me.

The next day, I got a call from the other lawyer who said "Steve, I had an opportunity to speak with my client, David, about Barbara's suggestion.

David does not agree...

Rather, David suggests that this year HE should have Michael for Thanksgiving, Barbara can have Michael for the first day of Hanukkah, and they will switch next year."

I said to the other lawyer, "Well, let me speak with my client and I will get back to you."

I called Barbara and I said "Look, Barbara, I spoke with the other attorney who agreed with both of us that your proposal makes sense.

However, your husband's lawyer then spoke with your husband who sees things differently.

In fact, your husband insists that HE have Michael for Thanksgiving this year, you would get next year, and YOU would get the first day of Hanukkah this year."

Barbara screamed. "Oh, no. That's not going to happen. I insist upon having Thanksgiving this year!"

Well, at this point in the conversation, I reminded her of our discussion about legal fees during our first consultation by saying, "Barbara, do you remember back on September 15th when you first hired me and you asked me how much this case was going to cost you?

Do you remember that I told you that I didn't know, and that it was going to be largely a function of how well you and David cooperate, and also a function of how well his lawyer cooperates with me?

Well, his lawyer and I have been getting along great, but you and he are disagreeing over basic things.

Is it really worth going to Court over this issue?"

To which Barbara replied, "Yes, it is!"

So, I did what Barbara instructed me to do.

I prepared the Court papers.

That took quite a few hours, with Barbara making many revisions.

We went to Court.

That took a few more hours.

I argued that Barbara should have Thanksgiving this year and that her husband should have the first day of Hanukkah.

David's lawyer argued that David should have Thanksgiving this year and Barbara would have the first day of Hanukkah.

The judge ruled in Barbara's favor and she had Thanksgiving Day with the child in 1987.

Why do I tell you this?

Because this is an article about what can be done to reduce the cost of your divorce.

I want you to know that Barbara spent her entire $4,000.00 initial retainer fighting over who was going to have Thanksgiving that year.

She then needed to come up with another $4000 retainer to continue moving the case forward.

And so, this goes back to the initial question that Barbara asked me during our consultation, namely, "How much is this divorce likely to cost me?"

If I had attempted to guess at the answer at that time, by the end of her case I would have been way off, and Barbara would have viewed me as being dishonest with her.

Indeed, when I first met Barbara, I had no idea how she and David were going to fight over Thanksgiving.

I did know that if they fought over relatively insignificant issues that they would likely spend a whole lot more money than they otherwise might.

So how can you dramatically reduce the cost of your divorce?  

There are 5 "takeaways" from this article:

1.Never forget that divorce lawyers bill hourly.

2.Don't fight over relatively insignificant things.

3.Keep your focus on the big picture of what you are trying to achieve.

4.Try to treat the negotiation of your divorce case like any other significant negotiation in your life.

5.And...before you begin to negotiate, you will need to have a complete grasp on your assets, your debts, your income...you will need to first prepare a complete Case Information Statement.

If you are concerned about getting the best legal representation available but also having control over the cost of divorce, then it is important for you to understand that lawyers bill hourly for all of their time. 

So try to keep a journal of your questions so that when you call your lawyer, you can get more "bang for your buck".

 

SO HOW MUCH DOES IT COST ALREADY?

For a short marriage, no kids, no assets, no debts, no fighting...easy case...very little.

But once you add in facts like a longer marriage, kids, assets, debts, and fighting, then in my experience in the average case, each side will likely spend between $15,000 to $25,000 per person IN THE AVERAGE CASE.

Yup.

That has been my experience as a divorce lawyer in New Jersey for the past 37 years.

And I'm not talking about just MY clients...I'm talking about the average cost for any highly experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer, based upon what I have seen.

Now...that is for a "typical" case.

YET...many cases cost much less...and many cases cost much more.

Why? (did you skip the part above where I explain in detail why)?

 

THE BOTTOM LINE

The cost of a divorce in New Jersey is a function of how much time the attorneys spend on the case.

The amount of time spent by the lawyers is a function of how much emotion the clients have, how they direct that emotion, how complex the legal issues are, how cooperative the lawyers are with each other, who the judge is, and many other factors.

But lawyers bill hourly at the rate of hundreds of dollars an hour, depending upon the particular lawyer.

If little time is required, the bill will be low.

If a lot of time is required, the bill will be significantly higher.

Would you like me to teach you how to keep the cost of your divorce as low as possible?

Then stick around this website...I'll give you hundreds of useful tips that you will really find helpful.

You've worked you backside off to save for retirement.

Embarking on a divorce journey here in Monmouth County New Jersey can be a formidable task, filled with legal intricacies and emotional challenges.

I'm glad that you are at this page, because if you are having marital problems and you live in Monmouth County, then what I'm about to tell you is important for you to understand.

It will save you emotional wear and tear and probably money (on your legal fees.)

New Jersey is a No Fault Divorce state.

This means that one spouse in NJ can get a divorce without either party having to prove fault or misconduct on the part of the other.

This approach assumes the philosophy that marriages break down for many reasons, and that trying to assign blame should not be necessary in order for someone to get a divorce when that person feels that the marriage should end for whatever reason.

A person who wants a no fault divorce in NJ usually files for divorce on the grounds of "irreconcilable differences".

Key Features of a No-Fault Divorce in New Jersey:

1. Absence of Blame: Unlike traditional divorce grounds that may require proving fault, such as adultery or cruelty, a no-fault divorce allows couples to end their marriage without placing blame on either party.

   This can foster a more amicable and less adversarial divorce process. This results in less attorney involvement, which translates to potentially huge savings on attorney fees to the client.

2. Irreconcilable Differences: In New Jersey, the most common grounds for a no-fault divorce is the assertion of "irreconcilable differences."

   This term signifies that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, and there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.

3. Simplified Legal Proceedings: No-fault divorces typically involve simplified legal proceedings.

   Instead of focusing on proving fault, the emphasis is on addressing the practical aspects of the divorce, such as property division, spousal support, and child custody.

4. Faster Resolutions: The absence of fault-related disputes often expedites the divorce process.

   No-fault divorces tend to conclude more swiftly, allowing both parties to move forward with their lives without protracted legal battles.

5. Reduced Emotional Strain: By eliminating the need to dwell on fault or misconduct, no-fault divorces can be less emotionally draining for both spouses.

   This can be particularly advantageous when children are involved, as it allows for a more cooperative and constructive co-parenting relationship post-divorce.

Initiating a No-Fault Divorce in New Jersey:

1. Filing the Complaint: To initiate a no-fault divorce, one party must file a Complaint for Divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as the grounds for the divorce.

2. Legal Documentation: Both parties will work with their respective attorneys to navigate the legal documentation required for the divorce, addressing issues such as asset division, alimony, child custody, and support.

   

3. Negotiation and Settlement: The focus of the legal process shifts to negotiating and settling the terms of the divorce. Attorneys play a crucial role in facilitating communication and ensuring that the agreement aligns with the best interests of their clients.

4. Finalization: Once an agreement is reached, it is submitted to the court, the divorce is finalized, and both parties can officially move forward.

5. Trial: If the case cannot be settled (1 in 100 in my experience) then it heads to a N.J. Superior Court Judge for a trial at the county courthouse.
   
   But most people reading this article will never have to really worry about "going to trial." In my experience, almost every one of you will settle your cases...some sooner and easier than others...but almost every single person reading this article will settle sometime before trial. 
   
   I promise!