Answer: "You don't want one."

A new client recently hired me and asked me to "serve" divorce papers on his wife that same day.

I explained to him that his request would be very difficult, and probably impossible, to do.

His request made me realize that there is confusion about what it means to serve divorce papers in New Jersey.

Let me explain.

Before divorce papers can be "served," they must first be created and then filed with the Court.

Divorce proceedings in NJ begin with your lawyer preparing your divorce complaint.  

The complaint states your NJ Grounds for Divorce. It gives the judge the reasons that you are asking for a divorce (most of the time the reasons given are "irreconciliable differences," but not always.)

Once the divorce complaint has been prepared by your lawyer, it is sent to the county courthouse to be filed (that is, received by a courthouse employee and stamped with the word "filed," and assigned a case number known as a docket number.)

By having a docket number assigned to it, there is now a place to file your papers at the county courthouse. It's kind of like having a locker at the local beach club... you know, a place to store your stuff... well, maybe not exactly the same, but you get the idea.

The divorce complaint, now bearing that all important court-assigned case number, (i.e. the docket number) is then returned to your lawyer so that he can arrange for proper "service" upon your spouse, who is now known as the defendant.

As a divorce lawyer, half of my clients are people who are getting divorced.

"Why won't the other divorce attorney negotiate?"

If you are going to file for divorce, you should know that there are nine NJ divorce grounds.

It has often been said that 99 out of 100 NJ Divorce Cases are ultimately settled, and that only 1 out of 100 divorce cases in New Jersey actually result in a trial before a Family Court judge.

A very nice woman, frightened out of her mind, hired me recently.

She told me how she had been informed by an email from her husband's lawyer an hour earlier that her divorce case was scheduled for TRIAL in 2 days, gave her the address of the courthouse, but told her that she really didn't need to appear in Court.

Why is it so difficult for even a highly experienced divorce lawyer to predict what your divorce will cost?

Not one of the thousands of people that I have consulted with over the past 37 years as a New Jersey Divorce Lawyer has ever said to me that one of their goals  was to screw up their kids.